Don Luigi's, a Chicago Italian restaurant, has been awarded this year's Nobel Pizza Prize. The award goes to the pie that best rewards the palate and brings the greatest satisfaction to the stomach. Producing the biggest belch is not always a requi...
After a morning of dramatic dawn raids across the UK, Scotland Yard's top detective, Mycroft Holmes confirmed that the mafia had taken root in the UK. Reputed mafia kingpin, Don Il Jaggedoni, formerly of south east London, was taken away in a poli...
In the UK it has been revealed that the owners/operators of ice cream vans have reported an eighty percent increase in intimidation and racketeering by mafia hoodlums allegedly on the payroll of American megastar Beyonce Knowles. It would appear t...
Florida mob boss Tito 'Da Big Titty' Tagliatelle may have bitten off more than he can chew this week when he paid a courtesy call on Spoof writer BuckwheatsButt. As is the norm with 'Da Big Titty' the call wasn't exactly straightforward. BuckwheatsBu...
The head of Italy's Mafia families - the Capo di Tutti Frutti, Doggio Constructione - today praised the Mafia for saving lives in L'Aquila's earthquake. 'If it hadn't been for us', Don Constructione said, 'the death toll would have been ten times wor...
The infamous Corleone family have reportedly made attempts to control English football. Already a crime wave involving the families of several professional footballers has begun. The family of John Terry, the Chelsea captain have been arrested fo...
NEWARK, NJ - In an unexpected move by the ACI, wherein my confidential source provided the material for this story on condition that his agency name be scrambled to defeat government search-engines, the mafia here is being switched over the the Amero...
Today, former Chicago mafia crime boss puppet senator and new mafia puppet US President Barack Obama announced plans to move the US capital to Chicago. 'This will make it easier for the true leaders of the planet to run the US,' Obama said in his...
Washington DC-- Congress awarded the Mafia a much-needed emergency cash bailout for $300 billion today. The unusual early moring session was held at 2AM behind closed doors. The measure was passed in the House, 435-0. The bill was folded into a p...
Reuters - Goldie "The Giant" Goldfish was found dead this morning floating on his side in his 3 story penthouse fish bowl. A 911 call was received at 6:20AM by an anonymous source saying only "The Giant is down".
London - (Assinine Mess): Paul McCartney's new shag interest, millionaire New Yorker Ms Nancy Dishevelled, is the daughter of a Mafia mobster who won a presidential pardon from Ronnie Raygun.
"Murder She Wrote" actress and jailed killer Angela Lansbury has been unveiling the roster of new acts she has signed to her "Crack Bitch" label.
As Big Brother fans made Nicky Fromwatford the fifth evictee from the House on Friday, news emerged yesterday that another personality discrepancy has come to light that may shake the show to its ve...
The five New York crime families have voted Paris Hilton's mug shot the best ever. The five families; Massino (Formally The Bonnanos), Colombo, Gambino, Genovese, Lucchese; have just met in Hidden, upper New York State, for the 45th annual Omerta...
Ageing Coronation street barmaid Bet Lynch was rearrested having briefly tasted freedom yesterday from jail following her earlier extradition from the Rovers Return to Italy.
In a shocking new development, Arsenal Football Club will become the first club to be bankrolled by the London Underworld, should a deal be agreed.
Tri-State Area USA - Vinnie (THE EEL) Langostino The leader of whats left of the once powerful Colombo Crime Family was found in bed sexually abusing a six foot bottle nose dolphin in the Merrimac hotel and lounge in Yuppa City New Jersey.
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