Dear Sir, may I, as an occasional reader, speak up for the humble cod? Wherever I go, I find that nary a person has a kind word for the cod. I am frequently made nauseous by the effusions of some of our more simple-minded citizens, upon the subject of their pet animals, viz. lap dogs, cats, various songsters, and suchlike. But how many endearments is the cod vouchsafed? Not one. Well? Have y...
Not since the days when John McEnroe roamed the turf at Wimbledon has so much controversy been heard of. When he complained that "the ball was definitely in!" There was room for human error. However, within a decade all that changed and the decisions...
Andy Murray has carpeted his mum Judy for embarrassing him at Wimbledon. Blonde Judy has been double faulting with her son's potential quarter final opponent Feliciano Lopez. Divorcee Judy Murray, who describes herself as slim, attractive, gsoh...
British number 1 tennis player, Andy Murray, the gaunt, unshaven Scot, has vowed to give it his best shot, and to try his very bestest as he tries to become the first home-based player to win the Wimbledon title in more than 500 years this week. M...
Other than being extremely annoying, the constant grunting of tennis players at this year's Wimbledon tennis championships may have far wider implications. Shit! Social observers have noticed a marked increase in antisocial grunting, swearing,...
Police and Environmental Health Officers interrupted today's proceedings on Wimbledon's Number One Court, where Russian former champion, Maria Sharapova was playing Great Britain's 17 year old hopeful, Laura Robson in a ladies singles match. The o...
Speaking after her 6-3, 3-6, 6-1 win over Aravane Rezai in Wimbeldon the Women's Wimbledon Winner was emotional, and claimed to be drained. "Rezai gave me a massive game," Williams said. "Especially in the second set. For a time I was actually wor...
Andy Murray, Britains or Scotland's ony real hope of breaking the century old Wimbledon curse is determined to win this year, but does admit; "Rafael Nadal has to die first and Roger Federer has to be so fed up winning that he doesn't even bother!"...
Childish Tennis player Andy Murray is on the naughty step again. In another attention seeking outburst at Wimbledon he has called bananas "a pathetic fruit". Many top players admit to enjoying bananas and openly use them during matches. On...
Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray today vowed not to disappoint the fans at this year's Wimbledon Championships, saying that he'll probably go all the way before he totally capitulates to Nadal or Federer in the latter stages of the tournament.
Eric Nonce, a retired Maths teacher from Dorking, has put his high IQ to good use. He has predicted every Ladies Champion at the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament since 1969. Mr Nonce, who operates from a shed in Dorking, consults Tide Tables to analyse...
Andy Murray's preparations for Wimbledon have been thrown in to disarray after the Scotsman followed up a tournaments worth of lawn grass tennis at Queens club with an unusually strange arrangement which saw him lifting a trophy in what appeared desp...
Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce has been refused entry to this year's Eastbourne Open Ladies Tennis Tournament. Happily married Nonce, 69, from Dorking, was ejected from the court last time round after "looking up ladies' skirts". Eastbourne...
Wayne Rooney has entered the hair transfer market after his implants failed to sprout. The Manchester United footballer has made an audacious bid to buy Andy Murray's hair. Murray had originally offered his hair on a 3 month roll over loan de...
Andy Murray's failure to win this year's Wimbledon final will be shown live in 3D. The men's and women's finals will for the first time ever be available to consumers with BBC 3D and HD channels . Murray said : "Its very exciting to think th...
AFC Wimbledon, which won promotion to the Football League yesterday after beating Luton 4-3 on penalties in the Conference play odd, has been shocked by the news that most of their supporters have left to form another club. AFC was only formed in...
The sphincter of the footballing world was nipped-in tonight after the news that the bad boys of the game - Wimbledon's Crazy Gang - had won the Blue Square Premier play-off final against Luton Town, to gain promotion back into the Football League.
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