Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced the new members of his cabinet. Out go the old, and in come the, er, old, into jobs they know nothing about, mainly to afford them a substantial increase in salary and pension contributions between now...
Prime Minister David Cameron has today confirmed his cabinet reshuffle. At a press conference early this morning, attend mainly by members of the press, Mr Cameron confirmed that his old cabinet had been effectively "thrown out the window of numbe...
There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...
It was announced this morning that London football club Tottenham Hotspur is to offer degree courses, the first time a sporting club has entered the foray into third level education. Famous not only for it's iconic stadium at White Hart Lane, it i...
The makers of a popular little catalogue of working tools and accessories, have now got in on the act of trying to equate their products with the recent London Olympics. They have this morning released their new range of wall fixing accessories un...
In a dramatic move announced today a supermarket in partnership with TV personality Dale Winton, will be taking over the Olympic Stadium used in the recent London Olympics. The left side of the stadium will become one of the popular shops (open 7.
There was good news from lottery organisers, who have been concerned of late about the number of unclaimed winning tickets from various games. Despite scantily clad women pushing the button to operate the machines every Saturday on BBC1, there are...
Having just recovered from his and Mr Grenouille's extensively boring speeches at the grand opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics, Lord Seb Coe, the Chairman of the Olympics, queried some of the volunteer staff as to where the 6 chimneys used...
In a bold move announced today, the Government is setting up a board of inquiry to look into the boards of inquiry that they have already set up. Headed by a group of very important people, some of whom have beards and wear suits, the Inquiry Inqu...
In an announcement that had Simon Cowell's new teeth rattling and Tulisa Gotanewtrampastampa reaching for another "tah-oo" for her body, Huddersfield Town Football Club announced the signing of midfielder Adam Clayton. The football club have reall...
Thanks to our contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", located round the back of Fairfax Bus Station, I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter, which my gum-rubbing informant claims was sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the Financially Stupid Asse...
It was revealed today that Prime Minister David Cameron didn't accidentally leave his daughter behind in a pub they had visited. Following a grilling by Lord Leveson earlier today, the Prime Minister broke down in tears to explain that he actually...
The third day of the UEFA 2010 competition got off to a fine start in Poland today. With up to 22 men and a referee on the pitch at the same time, many of them were seen to be enjoying themselves kicking a football from one end of the field to the...
A well-spoken and well-preserved grandmother, Mrs Elizabeth Windsor, made a speech earlier this week in which she suggested that her colleagues, or, as she prefers to call them, "subjects" should cut back on the excesses of modern living and save for...
A new budget Irish airline has been launched that plans to compete with other existing budget Irish airlines. Called RyeandHair Underground Airways (not to be in any way confused with other Irish airlines of a similar name such as Aer Lingus or Ai...
Having announced to the media that he is down to his last £225 million, Simon Cowell he has decided to immediately open his premium cost telephone voting lines for this year's Britain's Got Talent competition. People who ring the lines - at £8 a m...
Some of the finer details of the British budget that weren't previously announced by the Chancellor because he had to be home for lunch have now been released by the Treasury. It was confirmed that dead people will no longer qualify for pension re...
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