It was a panic that had city parents on-edge for nearly three years. It started on the West Side on the back of a bus-stop canopy. No one really even noticed at first. Then it started showing up at the grocery store, in the schools, in forums online and even in IMs and texts among teenagers. Local police and parents were certain they were dealing with the the birth and spread of the next bi...
Steward, Paul Schwing, emailed his partner George Snapalogupos, who works for a Greek Airline, just before Paul's British Airway's flight A069, left Buffalo Airport, New York,this evening, heading for Heathrow Airport, London, England. George imme...
As speculation runs rife and Britain's tabloid press outbid each other in offering huge rewards as to the identity of the mysterious 'Mystery Blonde' - who has been spotted at several English locations in the last day - singer and rhyming slang star...
As gentle drizzle sporadically rained down on Silverstone this afternoon, German F1 ace, Sebastian Vettel, alarmingly for Red Bull, almost lost it taking Stow Corner. Eye witnesses stated that Vettel appeared to momentarily lose control, before re...
My friend Shylock Humes stood before the fireplace in his smoking jacket. I shook my head. "Come away from the fire, Humes", I adjured. "I told you you would catch fire if you stood so close." Before my friend could answer, the doorbell rang. To be more accurate, someone rang it. We did once try a self-ringing doorbell, which I had purchased from an ininerant self-ringing doorbell hawker, but w...
There was some confusion today among commuters arriving at Basingstoke Station, as they found themselves confronted by a mystery blonde woman in the ticket hall, acting strangely. The woman, suspected to be the mystery blonde who has recently been...
Unconfirmed reports are presently indicating that the mysterious mystery blonde woman, last seen walking across a car park at Portsmouth Ferry Port, has just been seen at Aldi's on West Street, in Fareham, Hants. One Aldi customer swore that the w...
The mystery blonde woman who has been spotted all over the world in the past month, was apparently spotted on board a cross channel ferry, sailing from Cherbourg to Portsmouth last night. Several witnesses reported seeing the blonde woman in the b...
Thames valley police say they are closing the net on the so called Midsomer butcher. Over the last ten years the sleepy villages in the Midsomer area have been witness to at least one hundred brutal murders. Criminal activity on this scale is rare...
[Burnley Echo] Conspiracy theorists were buzzing today after photographs were published of what appears to be a crop circle in a pensioner's garden. The out-of-this-world design, which resembles a giant penis, was first spotted by eager-eyed grandmot...
Lord Peter Flimsy sighed. "Oh dash it, Shunter, I've forgotten me posset pot catalogue. We shall have to go back, don't you know!" "Very good, your Lordship." Percy Shunter, former batman and now butler, butler and former batman, once batman, now butler, now butler, once batman, gritted his teeth (he kept a supply of grit in his pocket; the old toothy-pegs could get dashed slippery at this tim...
My friend Shylock Humes looked at our remarkable visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling - for it was indeed he - and spoke directly. His voice was like the crowing of a cock on a summer morning in Norfolk, when the sun begins to burnish the enormous sky and the windmills glow like rare moonstones. Fifteen minutes later, we had begun to tire of these farmyard impressions. My personal...
My friend Shylock Humes sat by the fireside in his favourite armchair, with his legs pulled up and his arms wrapped about his knees. He was coiled and taut, his head sunken into his gaunt shoulders. That recent training with contortionist Roberto the Rubberman of Bounder Brothers Circus was already paying off. Humes was staring at our extraordinary visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling...
The man who stood in our doorway was breathing heavily. A swarthy, weathered leathery face with a cudgeled nose peered out from beneath a forward-tilted ancient green billycock hat and from between luxuriant long side-whiskers of the sort formerly termed Piccadilly weepers. The dark visage was screwed up as if it faced an Atlantic storm, rather than our humble sitting-room. A shiny, blue serge dou...
Shylock Humes was curled up in his chair like a coiled serpent. Why on earth he chose to have a piece of furniture shaped like a snake I had no idea. But that was my friend all over. His things were always all over the place. He used to leave his papers, smoking accoutrements and clothing lying all over the sitting room. Clutter was his middle name. Actually, it was Horatio, after the famous Admir...
Walt and Whitney Wilson in Wheeling, West Virginia wanted to know "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood." They were unsatisfied with the answer "as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
It was a warm, clear day in early May. I had had a busy morning. Fruit bottling and goat-whispering were my great passions - when I was not assisting my friend Shylock Humes with his extraordinary cases - but there were times when it all became too much for my nerves. Kumquats can be uneasy bedfellows, I can assure you. And goats are not always easily whispered to, nor their owners easy to satisfy...
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