Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused by his usually loving spouse of conspiring to spoil Christmas. Anne Shuttlecock arrived home from work to catch her husband attempting to catch two wabbits in a hutch in the back garden. Assuming th...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was today accused of hogging the duvet by his ever loving wife, Anne. Standing in the street, in her underwear, Anne told us: "He's a nightmare. Especially when he's had a few beers. He thinks he's still walking u...
Local internet writing sensation Dickie Charles Rattlejavelin, who has topped countless internet comedy writers sites was today accused of fraud, by prominent academic Milton J Scratchnut III of Ivy League college Harvard. Rattlejavelin, whose pen...
Police Officers responding to frantic emergency calls from concerned neighbours, arrived at the residence of local couple, Martin and Anne Shuttlecock, only to find themselves in the middle of a serious domestic situation. Martin Shuttlecock was s...
Local man, Fotheringay Fairbanks - the ex-public schoolboy who looks a little like the late Terry Thomas in his heyday, who wears a monocle, and talks like he's got a mouthfull of marbles was arrested again in the early hours of this morning. 'Lor...
Women of all ages from around the sleepy village of Crumpet-Dean in Gloucestershire will today be joining the locals on the green for an unusual event to flick-start the harvest season. Today marks the annual 'Flicking Of The Bean'- a competition...
The local greeting card shop 'Birthmark' has opened a new section of 'alternative' cards designed for those usually awkward to cater for situations. Customers can purchase cards celebrating divorce anniversaries with friendly greetings such as "Fu...
Local man George Seacroft spent a delightful weekend in glamorous Blackpool and returned to his village as a much younger black man. The 72-year old pensioner couldn't explain the change and is no adjusting to life as a hunky 29-year old black dud...
Local teenager Vincent Harlow from number 69 Cloverfield Meadows, was arrested today for being a complete and utter dickhead. The 17-year old knobhead was taken from the outside of the local shop to the local police station where he was formally char...
Local man Billy Brannigan, 52, has been speaking of his "shock" and "disappointment" that the pictures he took while on holiday last month are all crap. The father of five spent a nice week in Blackpool with his good lady wife Mavis and did some s...
Local woman Tania Foxx, 24 Windchester Road, has spoken publicly for the first time about her disastrous experiences involving sun beds. The former 'least likely to achieve' nominee in her school yearbook, took to visiting tanning salons in order...
Local couple John and Mary Morris from number 64, Swallows lane, have gone out and got themselves a sex change to celebrate each others 40th anniversary. The loving couple felt they needed a change to spice up their tired love life and there is no...
Local pensioner Tom Baxstard, 82, has been struggling to get to grips with modern life. The sprightly old coot used his life savings to purchase a used Commodore 64 computer. But poor Tom hasn't a fucking clue how to switch the blasted thing on! "...
Local man Peter Arsewipe has told the local papers that he will only allow himself to be photographed facing towards the left - or the photographers right. The well-known ladies man is regularly photographed for pictures that appear on occasional...
A local man who went around town acting like he was somehow better than everyone else on his street has been uncovered as being a scummy bastard. Paddy Wagon - who went by the pseudonym 'Sir Archibald Windslow Leech Forsythe III - left the...
A man, a quite annoying man actually, with a lot to say, though often is just repeating himself, injured himself today after walking into his local bar. It was a metal bar of course! You see, what happened was this, this man was struck on the h...
Local sales representative John Brewster was witnessed, by his daughter, giving an extra 10% on top of the already 100% that he had just given. Brewster was washing his car this morning like usual when he had given it his all. "I just had nothi...
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