ARLINGTON, Virginia - Reports from several of the nation’s leading newspapers, say that the world’s cruise lines are expressing great concern over the recent rumors coming out of the Swampland (aka D.C.) A representative for The Wonder Cruise Lin...
Following two devastating tornadoes that left parts of Nashville, Tennessee, in ruins, Donald Trump visited the still-dazed city, thereby inflicting the second natural disaster on the city in the space of one week. “Tornadoes are bad enough, but t...
Tropical Storm Humberto has gained strength overnight, and is likely to be reclassified as a hurricane this morning, according to a tweet posted just minutes ago by President Donald Trump. Mr Trump also stated that Hurricane Humberto would be a da...
WASHINGTON DC - Democrats are certain that they now have the evidence to impeach President Trump, because of the NOAA weather map of Hurricane Dorian from August 29th. Every meteorologist and a former Canadian Prime Minister had 100% certainty that a...
Meteorologists, insurance executives, military officials, and first responders around the world are frantically purchasing Sharpies pens by the crate. Apparently, the arms race for Sharpies has been triggered by President Trump, when he used one to...
Montgomery, AL - Weeks after suffering the ills of Hurricane Dorian, the Governor of the State of Alabama asked for emergency funding to help it rebuild. In an emotional interview on 60 minutes, GOP Governor Kay Ivey could uttered only one word. "...
Pledging to help Americans and even Puerto Ricans remain calm in the face of the severe storms that are more and more frequently battering the United States for no particular reason, President Donald Trump promised to be the "eye" of present and futu...
Somewhere in Virginia, President Trump once again proved his power, as he informed the nation that he was keeping Hurricane Dorian under control via his executive powers and Twitter feed while golfing in Virginia. "I, the Chosen One, am doing my b...
The Gulf states have been preparing for the onslaught of yet another major storm set to impact the area. No strangers to these storms, citizens have been urged to heed the advice, warnings, and evacuation plans of officials and spokespeople, regardle...
Yes, dear punters, The Nutters Beach Club, closed recently due to a delayed shipment of suggestive fruit (mostly bananas) has re-opened only to be boarded up gain in the face of oncoming weather. Hurricane Leslie (A close relation to the writer of...
As citizens on the eastern seabord of the US awaited the arrival of Hurricane Florence today, it was revealed that the weathermen responsible for naming hurricanes are rapidly running out of names to name them with. The 'namers' are a group of men...
US President Donald Trump today compared tropical hurricane Florence with Stormy Daniels, the woman he gave a big wad of cash to for absolutely no reason. Broadcasting live from the White House, Trump warned east coast residents to prepare to evac...
Washington, DC Carmen Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, the largest city and capital city of the island, recently chastised Trump and the federal government for their slow response to the Hurricane Maria tragedy that devastated Puerto Rico. W...
Washington, DC Much like his reaction to the White Supremacists in Charlottesville, Trump refused to say anything negative about Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Jose, Kaita, and Maria, speculating how he was not qualified to call a storm "good" or "bad."...
West New York, NJ - President Donald Trump "visited" Puerto Rico today by way of a satellite feed from West New York, New Jersey. Trump scheduled the visit amid claims that he cares more about stirring controversy with the NFL than about a U.S. terr...
Washington, DC "I got tired of all these disasters upstaging me and getting all the press. It was time SOMEBODY stood up and did something about all these hurricanes and earthquakes EVERY YEAR! Well, now it will be illegal for that to happen. TAKE TH...
In an early morning statement President Donald Trump stated that Hurricane Harvey was fake news generated by CNN to keep him out of the news cycle! After an early morning tweet Trump followed it up by issuing the following through his press secre...
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