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Spoof stories written by joseph k winter

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Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Funny story: Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Already heralded as an omen for the new year, today’s incident in a major American city (anonymous in this report) has brought significant developments. That the elevator was also crowded has added to how to respond to the problem. Numerous que...

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The last adults in the room celebrate with beer party in Mattis basement

Funny story: The last adults in the room celebrate with beer party in Mattis basement

General Mattis’ resignation, December 21, has brought a hue and cry in the mainstream media that “the last adults in the room” have left the Trump administration. Accordingly, Mr. Trump is seen as the equivalent of a schoolboy wearing a cap with h...

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Trump consulting on who to appoint acting president while he takes a break

Funny story: Trump consulting on who to appoint acting president while he takes a break

According to Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, the list for who will become Acting President (APOTUS) is being carefully studied. Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan is also being called in as advisor for the process. Mr. Trump has...

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Globus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington

Funny story: Globus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington

President Trump’s decision to withdraw from Syria and drawdown in Afghanistan, has the nation’s capitol in a near state of paralysis. Even FOX News has turned on the President with accusations he is “refounding ISIS.” A hullabaloo of protest ha...

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New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes

Funny story: New White House parrot uses Alexa plus offers up foul-mouthed diatribes

Thanks to a generous parrot owner in London, the White House now has a new pet—the multi-talented Rocco, including his cursing. With a sigh, Marion Wischnewski, who previously rescued the parrot from a sanctuary where he was being expelled due to...

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Huawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver

Funny story: Huawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver

Reports indicate President Moreno of Ecuador, sitting at his desk, snapped his pencil on hearing of a new asylum seeker at an Ecuador embassy. He is rumored to have said: "At least she’s rich.” This time it’s Meng Wanzhou, 46, CFO of Chinese te...

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World leaders going incognito with disguise and voice modification in foreign countries

Funny story: World leaders going incognito with disguise and voice modification in foreign countries

Nervous over developments in the past few days regarding Mr. Trump’s sanctions, world leaders are taking unusual steps to avoid arrest when traveling abroad. Leading the way, Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada has recently traveled to Hong Kong, whe...

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“Smoking bone saw” mystery series begins on PBS

Funny story: “Smoking bone saw” mystery series begins on PBS

Inspired by Senator Graham’s response to a CIA briefing, a new TV series titled “The Smoking Bone Saw” is emerging on the Khashoggi problem. Senator Graham believes he was shown "a smoking bone saw," and has no doubts on who ordered the execution.

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British publications high on their own intestinal gases blur the news

Funny story: British publications high on their own intestinal gases blur the news

It is a known but largely secret fact that many people enjoy sampling their own intestinal gases when in convenient circumstances. Not surprising, this aspect of humanity has led to academic studies. Professor Federico Schmellini, Harvard Unive...

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Sex doll Marianna breaks hearts and declares independence

Funny story: Sex doll Marianna breaks hearts and declares independence

Robotic sex doll designers are moving ahead quickly with products that can think and feel emotions, as well as have sex. However, with increasing sensitivity, as when the dolls are programmed to “see sex as a resource,” they may cheat on their own...

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Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama kick off 2020 campaign with Shakespeare on Broadway

Funny story: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama kick off 2020 campaign with Shakespeare on Broadway

Now starring in major roles for Shakespeare’s Anthony and Cleopatra, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Obama have already started in with the 2020 presidential election. The performance is bringing widespread global attention, especially due to several "steamy...

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Trump bromance with Putin hits the skids

Funny story: Trump bromance with Putin hits the skids

In Argentina for the annual G-20 conference, Mr. Trump is reported avoiding Mr. Putin after cancelling any official meeting between them. Analysts probing this response remind that in the 2016 campaign Mr. Trump had been enthusiastic about Mr. Put...

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Trump does Elvis Presley at his next rally

Funny story: Trump does Elvis Presley at his next rally

The day after last Monday’s appearance to aid a run-off for Mississippi’s Cindy Hyde-Smith, Mr. Trump followed with another special performance. This next rally featured the President in black threads, half-jacket with collar turned up, sunglasses...

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Eugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket

Funny story: Eugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket

Renowned blond tennis star, Eugenie Bouchard, is completely enjoying the sun and breezes at Richard Branson’s Necker Island. Currently underway, there is what is known as “the world’s sexiest tennis tournament.” On her second day on the island,...

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Kinder gentler tear gas has multi-purpose applications including unruly school children

Funny story: Kinder gentler tear gas has multi-purpose applications including unruly school children

With the caravan from Central America now at the border, a new policy features massive blasting of music and lyrics while tear gas is distributed. Paranoia strikes deep Into your life it will creep It starts when you’re always afraid Hey, wha...

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Trump gives thanks to himself plus explains MBS as victim of vicious world

Funny story: Trump gives thanks to himself plus explains MBS as victim of vicious world

As the race to the 2020 election begins, Mr. Trump finds himself high in the saddle of world politics, and his own opinion of himself. Yesterday at Thanksgiving in America, Mr. Trump indicated his gratitude to himself for his personal glory. “L...

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Elephant in the room sighs and relieves itself over wide expanses in the news studio

Funny story: Elephant in the room sighs and relieves itself over wide expanses in the news studio

Mr. Trump’s Tuesday morning response on the murder of Jamal Khashoggi has led to a special interview in Downtown Brown Studios, key rival to CNN. Downtown Brown’s news anchor Sterling Ballsworthy immediately confirmed the President’s position that...

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Mohammed Bin Salman dream recovered and routed to the FBI

Funny story: Mohammed Bin Salman dream recovered and routed to the FBI

Mr. Bin Salman’s dream was recovered via Google’s new app DreemSeen2.0—available only to those who can afford it, as with himself. The app downloads to expensive phones, requiring a plug-into-earhole function when sleeping. A surgically impla...

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