Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...
"I wish I was in Dixie." - Epitaph on Nicole Brown Simpson's headstone Dixie or Dixieland (not to be mistaken for Disneyland) is an imaginary country celebrated in a number of popular songs and, as such, takes its place not so much among the nations of the earth as it does among other nations of the mind, in a mental atlas alongside Narnia, Middle Earth, Oz, La La Land, Never Never Land, and...
Russia has urged Ken Barlow BA (Hons) and North Korea to show restraint after Pyongyang said it was entering a "state of war" with the long-standing fictional character from the ITV soap opera Coronation Street. The belligerent declaration comes a...
LONDON, England: Today, the tenth anniversary of the start of Gulf War 2, many remember the b_LIAR, in their own special way... "My abiding memory of b_LIAR is his escape from a bookstore in Dublin, afraid to meet protesters. Later, he cancelled his book-signing tour. Yet he was willing to send young British soldiers to their deaths in Iraq." Madame Derry. "When are Boosh and b_LIAR g...
The untimely murder of the Elf King has the Hobbit nation in an uproar and they have vowed to avenge the murder. "Three teenaged boys carried out the murder," said a spokesman for the Hobbit Nation. "They kill him out of sport which make no sen...
Pasta made in the United States is going down very well in Iran according to news media outlets, with Iranian supermarkets and grocery stores signing an 8 year deal to ensure that US made pasta stays in the country for the foreseeable future. Acco...
A man who embellished his military record to appear as a highly-decorated war hero has been sentenced to 30 days in federal prison, authorities said. Paul Haslam, 45, of San Diego, was convicted of altering a military or naval discharge certificat...
The latest Bilderberg conference is under way at its orignal location is Coventry's Masonic Hall London. Attending as usual are the world's most powerful individuals including the Murdochs, the Clintons, the Blairs and Browns, Peter Mandelson, industrial magnates and armaments manufacturers from around the globe. Satan, looking younger than his thirty-four years and devilishly attractive as a...
QUITO, Ecuador - The South American government of Ecuador has been flooded with emails, text messages, letters, and two singing telegrams regarding the latest military rumor regarding that bicuspid-shaped country. The rumorous rumor is believed to...
Headline should read,"Iranian Jets Attack U.S. Drones in Gulf" President Obama gave the following speech to assembled reporters in the Rose Garden this afternoon. My fellow Americans: As President and Decider, uh...I mean Commander, in Chief, it is my duty to the American people to report that renewed hostile actions against United States drones on the high air in the Gulf of Persia have...
In the face of criticism from the United Nations regarding the ongoing United States drone program in Pakistan, President Obama held a video press conference to reassure the Pakistani people, many of whom are reportedly too terrified to go about thei...
I've been accused of being a grumpy old man; it is true, I am. Some folk, mostly shrinks, ask me why I am so grouchy all the time; is it nature or nurture? I live for this question! It is both in my nature to be grumpy, and my nurturing assures I shall never change. Seven European families make up the sum of my gene pool. It was pissed in, repeatedly, by the women who swam there. Two...
Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins is again angry, this time not at God, or genuine scientists but his next door neighbour. Apparently, his neighbour has installed some harmless spikes in his own trees, to help prevent p...
Dozens of members of Syria's military defected to Turkey overnight with their families, a Turkish official said Monday, unhappy that their Government may lead them into war with the USA and the new secret pact with aliens who are using the cover of S...
A Turkish air force jet went down in Syrian waters on Friday, but Turkey's prime minister said he could not confirm media reports that it had been shot down by a UFO. Turkish and Syrian vessels were searching for the plane - which the media id...
US officials are citing Pakistan as being responsible for unleashing the "Zombie" virus that has so far infected over 500 people, the first case being reported in Miami four weeks ago. Originally it was the thought the virus could have originated...
The London 2012 Olympic events are in disarray, as the list of countries pulling out of the Olympics mounts - following fears of toxic level of French methane gas hovering over the capital - fearing for the safety of their sports stars and the air qu...
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