EVA LONGORIA PARKER is urging her fans to participate in the U.S. 2010 sex census in a bid to improve America's worldwide porn services. The Desperate Housewives star has filmed a public service announcement (PSA), calling for U.S.citizens to give...
What is it with Susan Boyle anyway? We thought she learned her lesson the last time she chatted up potential wedding plans without a rock on her finger from boyfriend Paul Gadd. According to my extremely dodgy sources, the grey/blonde singer is...
Scientists and Market Researchers have analysed results from online surveys to ascertain the mentality of the Earth's populous in 2010 and beyond. Futurists and present day analysts are predicting a continental shift in how the human race views it...
Key BBC Spring Watch presenter Simon King has deemed this week's UK assault on the Taliban as "a complete waste of time and tax payers money, any sane person knows that the Taliban fly south to warmer climes to breed in Pakistan during the winter mon...
Thousands of Scottish job seekers, income support claimers and incapacity claimants have rallied to fight the proposed cut in Scottish benefits by the English Lords. In a statement from the Scottish Social Cost Analysis Board (SSCAB), Jinty McMony...
The eyes of the indigenous Scottish Crayfish is inspiring the next generation of computer graphic games, DVD and CD players according to a new study been researched at the University of The Highlands and Islands, based in Fort William. The rare Sc...
Desperate to stem the tide of highly skilled and professional English emigration to foreign shores and halt the tide of highly motivated East European and Black African immigration benefit seekers the Parliament of England is to launch a £20 assisted...
Hoops mascot, Hoopy the Hound, was arrested yesterday for wearing his new pair of baggy footy shorts in a public place, outside of Celtic Park, at the Sauchiehall Street Centre. Hoopy was busted by Strathclyde Police for violating a city ordinance...
Telling uni students how to party would appear to be on a par with instructing babies how to suckle. But Scottish undergraduates are being told to follow strict criteria when partying, to cause as much annoyance to their neighbours in their town tene...
In a desperate bid to cut public spending in England and Wales the English Lords have passed their motions on several towns and cities in the respective provinces by announcing they are to be put up for sale! A pilot scheme will feature the sale o...
After 500 years painstaking work by the Scottish Language department of the University of Paisley, the Historical Thesaurus of the Gorbals Scottish Dictionary is to be published this autumn. Professor Duncan MacMcCan who instigated the work in 1509 i...
The new "Teen (Mosquito) Buzz" which was originally created to prevent teenage crime is been used by school kids to drive their teachers nuts! All US, Japanese, European and worldwide adolescents have found the once annoying sound can be used as a...
It may have taken an alien race aeons to do the original job, but next month a team of Area 51 volunteers will begin a challenge to rebuild a replica of a crashed alien craft in 21 days. The 50m-long vessel, to be hewn from a single chunk of high...
THE shape of a man's penis can reveal how sexually and mentally alert he will be in later life, according to new research by the University of Glasgow. Sexologists found that men with more banana shaped penises were less likely to experience a slo...
Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne flew into Glasgow yesterday in an attempt to resurrect his wretched career. The former England midfielder has been without a job in football since his sacking from English Conference Division club Kettering Town in 2005, des...
In the UK the MPs' expenses scandal has claimed its first victims swiftly followed by accusations aimed at US President Barack Obama. Yesterday, it became clear that Obama had claimed an allowance for a second home in Blair Athol, Scotland along...
WASHINGTON, USA - President Obama, in his support for a free Scottish nation, opened a new chapter in Scotlands's tortured relations with its Wicca peoples on Beltane with a comprehensive and moving apology for past wrongs and a call for tripartisan...
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