Los Angeles, California - The World Council of Wicca has issued a 20-kiloton hex against a ragbag of Islamofascist thugs who have highjacked the name of the Mother of Creation for their vile Iraqi insurgency antics. This morning's statement from W...
New York - Accredited observer status at the UN General Assembly has been awarded to the Organisation of International Wicca in a move granting parity with the Roamin Catlick church. Five permanent representatives will be sitting in the world's p...
Washington AC/DC - A meat eschewing pagan US Army chaplain is feeling mighty pleased today after the Pentagon finally backed down over a ban on religious beards in the military following 100 years of clean shaven tradition. "Praise be to Isis, mot...
San Ramon, California - Wiccans, eat yer hearts out: this year's Halloween celebrations should see the first glimpse of the astonishingly beautiful Comet Ison as it heads towards its debut transit of Planet Earth. Already dubbed the Christmas Com...
Los Angeles - A statement from the Supreme World Wiccan Council HQ has condemned UK leader David Cameron's suggestion that his home baked bread recipe has made him 'more intelligent'. The Brit Prime Minister has said he bakes his own daily loaves...
Stonehenge, Wilts - A British coven based near the prehysteric monument of Stonehenge has tipped off the press about the government's Doomsday plans for members of the Cabinet and the royal family. "They're all legging it to a nuke-proof 'austeri...
STUBENVILLE, Ohio (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney responded to the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy by passing out emergency relief supplies in this mid-sized Ohio city today. Romney praised 47% of the American...
New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...
Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...
DESPICABLE, ME (Wiccan Broadcasting Network) -- The indoor full moon celebration of Isis Mighty Mother Coven last March 8 was interrupted by a scheduled rotating brownout. It was at 7:30 PM when the power shut off after the circle was cast, the gu...
Colorado Springs - "Silly excuse for naked revelry around a bonfire during the full moon!" is how one scornful US general put it as news of the Pentagon funding broke this week. However for the US military's motley crew of wiccans, pagans and asso...
London - Astrologers are confident next Monday's feast of Halloween will see the final collapse of the long-running KGB ponzi scam of the Euro. Some reckon a trillion dollar EU bailout attempt is horribly tainted by bad karma going all the way bac...
London - A silvery sliver of a cirrus cloud filament complete with feathery down-arching end curls blazed a trail at sunset tonight across the waxing Harvest Moon. The dazzling spectacle exactly mirrored the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead's Win...
Rome - The Vatican has hijacked Sunday's pagan New Year's Day to beatify a monster exhumed in a public freakshow. United Grand Coven sources said today veneration of the six year-old corpse - and a 'sacred' vile (sic) of his blood - is typical of...
New York - It's been dubbed Michelle Obama's master grimoire of ovulation rites for dummies - 'something that ex-First Daughter Chelsea Clinton-Lewinsky-Mezvinsky could sorely use right now!' The first print run hit NYC bookstores this morning and...
London - (Portents): Her father's bejewelled swastika flag is already draped over a gold-plated coffin of black locustwood, hewn from Regensburg Castle's ariosophic forest. Tonight, the Windsor chapter of Hellfire Anonymous is on emergency standby...
London - (Maypole): The countdown to Saturday's Pagan New Year's Day sees the Twilight star invited to a Walpurgis Night rave high up on London's Hampstead Heath. Not to be outdone by Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Cordelia Chase being crowned May Que...
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