Jokes

All jokes submitted by Exislanda.

Show all jokes.

Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)

Caught out speeding.

Late one evening a woman is pulled over by the police for speeding....

Farmer's Boy

A farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbours, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. Is your Dad home?...

Read full joke…

An older man marries a 2nd time to a young beautiful girl. Athough she assures him that it is not important, he becomes increasingly concerned that his abilities in bed are not as they once had been....

Read full joke…

German sex

A German guy abroad approaches a local lady of the night....

Read full joke…

Two 'Elderly' Doctor vists

A doctor placed his stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patients anterior chest wall....

Read full joke…

Baby's first doctor visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctors examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the babys first exam....

Read full joke…

Best Pig in Show

Farmer George and Farmer William always competed hard for the best pig in show at the County Show. For six years straight, Georges prize boar Napoleon had been the champion, but Williams Attila was always...

Read full joke…

11 on a rope

Eleven people were hanging from a rope, under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, they were all going to fall. They...

Read full joke…

A man goes into a pub......(4)

and he has a box under his arm. Calling for everyones attention he declares, From this box I will produce the most beautiful piano solo that you have ever heard, just by tapping on it. I want you all to give...

Read full joke…

A man goes into a pub......(3)

and he has a cat under his arm. Milo my cat can play the piano. If you dont believe me, he will show you. I want you all to give $20.00 down to the barman, and if Milo doesnt play a tune, then Ill give you all...

Read full joke…

A man goes into a pub......(2)

and he had a dog under his arm. Kipper my dog is a performing dog and can do tricks for me. He commands the dog to beg, to stand on his head, to turn a summersault and lots of other cleaver things. After the...

Read full joke…

A man goes into a pub…….(1)

and it is crowded, he fights his way to the bar and orders a pint. He had hardly taken a sip when he felt the need to visit the loo. Thinking, if I take my drink with me Ill probably spill a lot. If I leave it...

Read full joke…

Buckshot

A guy was out hunting and tripped over a root. The gun fell out of his hands and discharged, shooting him in the groin. A few hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by the doctor. Well, Sir, I...

Read full joke…

Th'ol' wan.

A family take their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home in Dublin and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast including All...

Read full joke…

Everything I need

A married couple is driving down the road; the wife is behind the wheel going a steady 40 miles per hour.. I want a divorce. the husband suddenly said. The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but...

Read full joke…

Lecture

A man is pulled over by the police around 3.00 am and is asked where he is going at that time of the morning. The man replies, Im on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,...

Read full joke…

Blow out.

A man gets home from work. Hed barely gotten in the door before his blond girlfriend greeted him with a passionate kiss. Then she pulled him into the bedroom, pushed him down on the bed, unzipped his...

Read full joke…

An intelligent blond?

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says shes going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank would...

Read full joke…

Alligator shoes

A young blonde was on Spring Break in the Everglades. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After...

Read full joke…

Engine trouble

There were two blonde students flying to the Caribbean for Spring Break. Two hours into the flight, the pilot gets on the intercom and says, We just lost an engine, but its all right, we have three more....

Read full joke…

Catfood

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. Oh, no! she suddenly exclaimed. Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! Hell be so annoyed if its not ready...

Read full joke…

In the Family

A poor old man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun...

Read full joke…

Bad leg

An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. I am afraid its just old age, replied the doctor, there is nothing we can do about it. That cant be fumed the old man, you dont...

Read full joke…

Desert Islanda

Two old lawyers had been stranded on a desert island 30 years. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food, and each day one of the old lawyers would climb...

Jokes

Caught out speeding.

Farmer's Boy

1 2 3

German sex

Two 'Elderly' Doctor vists

Baby's first doctor visit

Best Pig in Show

11 on a rope

A man goes into a pub......(4)

A man goes into a pub......(3)

A man goes into a pub......(2)

A man goes into a pub…….(1)

Buckshot

Th'ol' wan.

Everything I need

Lecture

Blow out.

An intelligent blond?

Alligator shoes

Engine trouble

Catfood

In the Family

Bad leg

Desert Islanda

RSS & Feeds