Jokes

Showing:

All jokes submitted by whatinthe world.

Show all jokes.
Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)

Drunk Irishman

A drunken Irishman was walking home from the tavern, clearly under the weather, when he encountered a fellow stuck by the side of the road working on his Mercedes Benz. Whats the trouble? asked the drunk....

Read full joke…

Order in the court!

The judge presiding over a law suit made a comment about modern fashion that aroused some mirth in the courtroom.These blasted social media web sites...

Read full joke…

I saw a ghost

I recently took the weekend off and headed for the coast where I stayed at an air BNB. Just for the fun of it. I stayed two nights but before my time was finished...

Read full joke…

Sanity clause

A solicitor is explaining a contract to his client. There is one clause his client cant quite get his head around. Oh, thats what they call...

Read full joke…

Frog meets giraffe

A frog meets a giraffe in the street one day, and asks him how he can improve his life. The giraffe shakes his head, and says he cant help him....

Read full joke…

Gavin the aspirational parrot

Gavin, a seven-year-old parrot, sings operatic arias for his elderly owner, Norman. The parrot also performs stunts such as riding a unicycle on a highwire. But, one day, Norman was shocked to hear Gavin...

Read full joke…

Old McDonald doesn't have a pig

Police have reported that a large pig has escaped from Old McDonalds farm. Not content with being subject to a hideous childs nursery rhyme, this pig has now been signed up by a record company to HAMMER...

Read full joke…

Kemmal Attaturk

A camel and a turd walk into a bar and order a round of drinks. Ah a camel and a turd! the local drunk announces. Next, famous Turkish President, Kemmal Attaturk,...

Read full joke…

Builder joke

Three house builders are on holiday by the sea when one says to the other two, I bet I could erect a home in half the time it takes you pair to build. Not at all put off by his comment,...

Read full joke…

Sold

I bought a used car yesterday from a salesman. Only problem was he was trying to sell me steak knives. Day before I bought a set of encyclopedias...

Read full joke…

Bus joke

Bus driver is carrying a load of aged people on day trip when a gang of hoodlums hold up the coach. They ask the driver to hand over everybodys wallets...

Read full joke…

Bull joke

A cow farmer is herding his flock when a ghost appears and duly tells the farmer that he should stay away from bulls. The farmer, shaking in his boots, asks why. Because theyre fast and they... Right...

Read full joke…

Life on Mars

Scientists have discovered little green men on the planet Mars. Theyre believed to have been there for the last two hundred thousand years. Nobody is quite sure...

Read full joke…

Doctor joke

A doctor is attending one of his patients who has a small complaint. Here, why do you guys charge so much? asks the inquisitive patient. Well, weve got overheads to meet and, besides, you can get reimbursed through the National Health system...

Read full joke…

Just a joke.

An electrician divorced his wife saying there was no spark in their marriage. She remarried a camel salesman and now gets a lot more humping than she used to. They built a house...

Read full joke…

Bookshop joke

Paddy walks into the bookshop and asks for a copy of Twenty Ways to Pick Up Women. We dont seem to have that title, sir replies the sales assistant but we do have Attracting Women...

Read full joke…

Aviation joke

Irishman is flying a commercial jet airliner from London to Dublin. As he approaches home, he requests permission to land from the control tower. Permission denied comes the response from the airport authorities. The pilot cant believe his ears as its a fine day and theres...

Read full joke…

Moon landing

An astronaut is launched into space and he lands on the Moon. As he descends the craft to start exploring, he is approached by a suited gentleman selling real estate. Ive got just the property for you says the salesman....

Read full joke…

Duck hunting

Harry and his mate go duck hunting one winters day. They see a flock of ducks and start aiming their shotguns. Gee these ducks are fast says Harrys mate. I know. May be we should use sling shots replies Harry. Lets...

Read full joke…

Chickens

A tourist is visiting a farm when she sees the farm owners collection of chickens. My, you have such wonderful chickens! she tells the farm owner. Thank you he replies. I love them, I...

Read full joke…

Flower joke

Gardener is setting down a new flower bed when a drunk party goer walks by. Here, I like flowers. What, ah, sort of flowers...? says the sozzled individual. Theyre petunias. Ive also got some...

Read full joke…

Police joke

A Policeman pulls over a driver on the highway after he finds the man speeding. Okay sir, whats the reason for going so fast? You were doing 100mph says the lawman. Officer, I was trying to...

Read full joke…

Fur coat

One day while Im walking around town, a policeman approaches me and says hey, didnt you steal that fur coat from the millionairess? What is your proof? I reply. Youve got it on answers the busy lawman....

Read full joke…

Car trouble

My car is on fire. I race down to the garden shed and connect the garden hose in an attempt to put out the flames. However, there is no water as I have not paid my water rates. I call the local fire brigade who cannot attend immediately...

Read full joke…
Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)
Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

RSS & Feeds

The Spoof is proud to present all stories as RSS Feeds.

More Info…

Go to top
… readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

✔ Continue ? Find out more