(To the tune of Old King Wenceslas)...
Did you ever notice how heavy-lidded Joseph is in those plastic church lawn nativity scenes, like the man can barely stay awake? (I know that, having been the parent of infants. My wife knows it too....
Angus, a crazy, Scottish classical music fan, decided to visit Beethovens grave in Vienna. He checked out his tourist map and found the cemetery and walked to find the grave....
Long before he entered politics, a young Don Trump played bass fiddle for the Wall Street Dynamiters. When he arrived half-an-hour late to rehearsal for their upcoming gig, he was greeted with cat calls...
The first rule of being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister is: You do not talk about being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister The second rule of being highly attracted to your wifes...
Why dont nuns like the Conftitution? They arent willing to uphold the Fecund Amendment. (Thif article fall be inoperative unless it fall have been ratified af an amendment to the Conftitution by the legislature...
How are politicians like change machines? They only make sense when you give them money. --- How are politicians like chairs with old springs? Theyll stab you in the back --- How are politicians like Halloween...
I dont know, but wed better figure it out fast. A day without justice is like a day in Congress. Separation of church and state are wonderful, but what we really need is separation of money and Congress. My car...
About a century ago there was a radical labor union, the Industrial Workers of the World, or IWW for short. Members were called Wobblies, since many of their foreign-born had difficulty pronouncing the...
So how do you turn a cat into a dog? My father taught me this trick. You get a can of gasolene, pour it carefully all over...
He is Trump. Trump he is. I do not like him, Trump he is. Does Trump like to tell the truth? Trump, he hates to tell the truth....
A husband comes home to find his car wrecked, the result of it driving straight into the neighbors tree. Panicked, he runs to the scene of the accident, and is relieved to find his wife okay, and apologizing...
Do I really need to explain this? Whenever they appear in public, they are an embarrassment. You never see your own, but hear from them at the worst times. Theyre either blowing hot air, or tooting their own...
Two friends are talking about a recent blackout in the city they live in. The first guy says, Oh, man, without power, I had no access to anything I like to do! No internet, no video games, no TV, no radio, no...
Imagine you are in the middle of the ocean with two hungry sharks about to kill you and eat you. How do you get out of this situation? Stop imagining. Duh. A man rides into town on Friday. Two days later, he...
The next step in Trump’s Trade War? The Trump Regime will build Potemkin Villages* in the farming states showing how happy, stress-free, and prosperous those farmers really are, and charge his supporters...
A young lady walked into a Starbucks, very stylishly dressed. She walked up to the counter and gave her order, like this: Id like a Triple Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Almond Macchiato with Sugar-Free...
A man is walking downtown when he comes across an unusual ad in the window of a seedy-looking restaurant; $2 Ham Sandwich, $3 Steak Sandwich, $1 Salad, $10 Hand Job. Wow! Thats a great price for that!...
Increasingly, don’t you get the impression that Donald Trump needs a translator with him all the time? We could call this new White House position the Executive Obfuscator. Of course, the Trump Ad....
Sometimes when I take a walk, I go by a fenced-in yard with a sign that reads, “Beware of the Dog.” About that time, I’m accosted by two dogs—one, a scrappy beagle, the other, a poodle-like creature—fully...
(So he could sexually harass the chicken,) Why did Donald Trump throw the clock out the window? (He wanted to set civil rights back a hundred years.) Knock. Knock. Whos there?...
Trump and Stevie Wonder met at a golf tournament and Trump said to Stevie, Do you make it to a lot of golf tournaments Stevie? Yes, but I like playing even more! replied Stevie How in the world do you, a blind...
A tasty Chinese cuisine has just opened in our town. It igoes by the memorable name of HU FLUNG DUN Throughout the world this restaurant chain has become famous for this tasty dish with its dark brown sauce enveloping...
Over a couple a beers in a bar, two men are talking when one admits, I keep getting these damn penis enlargement advertisements on my computer! One e-mail ad after the other, every day at all hours of the day! Its really...
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