I was walking through the park last night and a football lands right in front of me....
Three guys are walking through the plains and get captured by the Indians. The chief tells them that they are about to be tied to a tree and shot through the heart by their deadliest bow and arrow specialist....
A drunken Irishman was walking home from the tavern, clearly under the weather, when he encountered a fellow stuck by the side of the road working on his Mercedes Benz. Whats the trouble? asked the drunk....
An Irishman was walking around a posh neighbourhood looking for work. It wasnt going that well, until he came to a house owned by a old lady in her 70s. Top o the morning ta ya, mam. Um just goin round the...
I was walking out my door one morning and bumped into Stuarts wife, who was wearing white shoes, white jeans and a white jacket. She asked where I was going to, and I said, the bookies. So I did, and...
A frustrated man walks back into the pizzeria that he just bought a pizza from, and slams the box onto the countertop. Look at this! You got it all wrong! I asked for my pizza to be cut into 6 slices,...
This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. Whilst hes waiting, the small bowl of peanuts starts talking to him. Youre a really good person! I like your shirt! You look great! Have you been working out?...
The judge presiding over a law suit made a comment about modern fashion that aroused some mirth in the courtroom.These blasted social media web sites...
I recently took the weekend off and headed for the coast where I stayed at an air BNB. Just for the fun of it. I stayed two nights but before my time was finished...
How many distracted people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, thats easily answered, because...wait, did I pay my phone bill? I think I did. I should...
The following story was related in a round-table Kahuna scrum, during a recent Covid spatially-distanced-virtual get-together: .....Two Sheiks were walking along...
I guess we have to look on the bright side of things and when we are given lemons, we need to make some cherry slushies. My friends have been telling me to be optimistic...
Two friends are out camping when the first guy asks, So, Bill, what do you see when you look up? Bill answers, Well, that depends. From the surface of Earth, I see virtually...
Have you ever wondered how many government workers it takes to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to say that theyve taken care of it after six months of phone calls and letters...
A solicitor is explaining a contract to his client. There is one clause his client cant quite get his head around. Oh, thats what they call...
A Hunter walks into a bar, called Bank of Shina, just after a bender drinkin’ Burismas at another well. Hunter: “Barkeep, lemme have a cool...
A frog meets a giraffe in the street one day, and asks him how he can improve his life. The giraffe shakes his head, and says he cant help him....
Gavin, a seven-year-old parrot, sings operatic arias for his elderly owner, Norman. The parrot also performs stunts such as riding a unicycle on a highwire. But, one day, Norman was shocked to hear Gavin...
Name: Gang: 1. Have you ever scribbled on a piece of paper or spray-painted graffiti on a wall? 2. Do you regularly say things that nobody around you can understand? 3. Have you ever carved anything (including...
My wife just had a tattoo of my name put on her arm. Aww, thats lovely, I said. I didnt know you were going to do that. Do you still love me that much? No, Ive just been to the doctors and Ive been been diagnosed...
The President is flying in Air Force One, and opens a window. Then he pulls out his wallet and a nice, crisp $100 bill. The Vice-President asks him, Sir, what are you doing? The President replies, Im going to drop...
Two opposing members of Congress are trading jokes when the Democrat says, Let me tell you a really funny one about the President. The Republican congressman loses his sense of humor, and says, You realize that hes a Republican...
I went to Kroger’s Liquor Store to buy a twelve-pack for my son yesterday. Of the several women in the store at the time I was there, ALL were wearing a...
Police have reported that a large pig has escaped from Old McDonalds farm. Not content with being subject to a hideous childs nursery rhyme, this pig has...
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