A motorist had just been in a serious accident and was talking to the policeman....
A grad student in one of the sciences ran a lengthy experiment trying to determine if certain sounds could deter unwanted pests. Wouldnt it be great if playing classical music caused termites to leave...
The quirky Broadway producer was as well known for his weird method of casting parts for this productions as he was for the near-certain failure of every show he staged. Perhaps his most kooky method...
A duck walked into a bar and went up to the bartender and asked, Got any grapes? The bartender, a little peeved, said, This is a bar, not a grocery store. NO, we dont have grapes! The duck walked out...
How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Three: One to blame the darkness on immigrants. One to take the bribe. And one to underpay an illegal to do the work. Why did the...
Question. A new asparagus club was just formed. What was it called? Answer. (1) The Friendly Ferns, (2) The Fearsome Spears, (3) The Stinky-Ps, (4) The Minnesotans (because only in Minnesota...
Once upon a time there was a bar in a large metropolitan city. One day, a Nazi, a Russian spy, a con artist, and a child molester walk in. The crowd of regular customers are speechless at what they see. The...
A high school production of The Diary of Anne Frank was becoming very long and tedious as students forgot their lines, forgot to make entrances or exits, and generally gave a wretched performance. Finally, by...
When I first moved to California, I took the winter coat I had brought with me and worn the long, winter drive to the Sunshine State. Once I got to San Francisco, I took the coat to a cleaners to have...
During the 1990s, Jose Carreras, Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti were a regular fixture on the concert tour. Billed as The Three Tenors, they toured the world. But just before their scheduled performance...
The two met for the first time at the International Skydiving Jump held at Perris, the little California town known the world over as a skydivers paradise. Ilsa was happily married to a C.P.A. in Boston....
1. How do you get rid of mice? You put up sign that says Collective Farm. Half will run away and the other half will die of starvation. 2. Three men are in a Siberian gulag. How did you end up here, comrade?...
A convict, sentenced to death, is asked what he wants for his last meal. He could not decide and asked for more time to think about it. Finally, on the day he is executed, he still has not revealed his choice...
A judge, who was presiding over a case and was about to issue sentence, said to the defendants, All three of you men have been found guilty of the charges brought forward against you and it is now my...
A priest had died and went to heaven. He was approached by Saint Peter, who said, Weve been expecting you. As you have lived such a righteous life, we have prepared some magnificent quarters for you to...
Four nuns were standing outside the Golden Gates waiting for Saint Peter to allow them to pass through and enter heaven. When he arrived he said to the nuns, all of you have lived lives of righteousness,...
A grain company at Minneapolis had half a dozen loaded barges that it desperately needed to send down river to a destination a few hours away. Unfortunately, it was a small company and relied on independent...
When I was a kid, in junior high school, one of my classmates was Ann Gelsing, an ambitious, outgoing girl who was always finding ways to make a buck. At one point she had a job usually reserved for boys...
A guy goes to the doctor for a check-up, and is in the waiting room when he hears a blood-curdling scream down the hall. Suddenly, a Nun runs out of the Doctors office and out into the street, whimpering...
A North Dakota farmer was getting tired of all the out-of-state, amateur hunters that always showed up on the first day of hunting season each year. The main problem is that the fledgling hunters will...
A man was visiting the zoo when he came across a curious sign outside of a holding pen, thats being repainted by a zookeeper. What?! This sign says that theres a talking pachyderm in there?! Whats that?...
Early in their career as co-authors of a political news column, Drew Pearson and Jack Anderson vacationed at the Coronado Hotel near San Diego. The first night of their arrival Anderson read an article...
This year at the annual White House Halloween Party . . . . President Donald Trump shows up at the party dressed in a white hood and robes. Jeff Sessions, costumed as Confederate General Stone Wall Jackson,...
Stop! shouted the anguished conductor. As the music stopped and the musicians put down their instruments, the dismayed director turned to one of the new players in the brass section,...
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