A teacher is testing her students knowledge of geography with mixed results....
A man is driving through the country on his way to his friends farm. Once there, he stops his car and looks at a terrifying scarecrow standing in the field. It has its hands on its hips, and its horrible...
If at first you don’t succeed, you might want to skip skydiving, was maybe the best advice I ever got from my doctor. I always respected the medical profession....
After a restless night in bed, and with the sun about to come up, a wife moans as her husband rolls onto his side with a loud grunt. Are you awake? she asks. Yeah....
A husband and wife are visiting Los Angeles, and are eating at a ritzy, posh restaurant in Hollywood. The wife spots an attractive lady at another table, and notices...
Donald Trump goes to see the doctor, complaining a newly imposed strict vegan diet is a real pain in the ass. The physician immediately gives him an MRI scan confirming...
The Pope today announced that he is taking strident actions to prevent sexual abuse and physical injury to nuns. As to that other issue, well hes working on getting a committee...
A wife is having trouble finding her husband in a large shopping mall, so she calls him on his cell phone and asks where he is. He answers the phone and asks her, Do you remember...
A guy goes to a coffee house, and the barista asks him what hed like to order. Hello, could I get a coffee with one sugar, but no cream. She shakes her head and replies, Were out...
Its not true that a ham sandwich walked into a bar, only to be told by the bartender, Sorry, we dont serve food here. However, it is true that the scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in...
(To the tune of Old King Wenceslas) Old Prince Philip ventured out in his posh Range Rover No one told the mad old git his driving days were over Then he had an accident - smashed into a Kia Philip...
Did you ever notice how heavy-lidded Joseph is in those plastic church lawn nativity scenes, like the man can barely stay awake? (I know that, having been the parent of infants. My wife knows it too....
Angus, a crazy, Scottish classical music fan, decided to visit Beethovens grave in Vienna. He checked out his tourist map and found the cemetery and walked to find the grave....
Long before he entered politics, a young Don Trump played bass fiddle for the Wall Street Dynamiters. When he arrived half-an-hour late to rehearsal for their upcoming gig, he was greeted with cat calls...
The first rule of being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister is: You do not talk about being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister The second rule of being highly attracted to your wifes...
Why dont nuns like the Conftitution? They arent willing to uphold the Fecund Amendment. (Thif article fall be inoperative unless it fall have been ratified af an amendment to the Conftitution by the legislature...
How are politicians like change machines? They only make sense when you give them money. --- How are politicians like chairs with old springs? Theyll stab you in the back --- How are politicians like Halloween...
I dont know, but wed better figure it out fast. A day without justice is like a day in Congress. Separation of church and state are wonderful, but what we really need is separation of money and Congress. My car...
About a century ago there was a radical labor union, the Industrial Workers of the World, or IWW for short. Members were called Wobblies, since many of their foreign-born had difficulty pronouncing the...
So how do you turn a cat into a dog? My father taught me this trick. You get a can of gasolene, pour it carefully all over...
He is Trump. Trump he is. I do not like him, Trump he is. Does Trump like to tell the truth? Trump, he hates to tell the truth....
A husband comes home to find his car wrecked, the result of it driving straight into the neighbors tree. Panicked, he runs to the scene of the accident, and is relieved to find his wife okay, and apologizing...
Do I really need to explain this? Whenever they appear in public, they are an embarrassment. You never see your own, but hear from them at the worst times. Theyre either blowing hot air, or tooting their own...
Two friends are talking about a recent blackout in the city they live in. The first guy says, Oh, man, without power, I had no access to anything I like to do! No internet, no video games, no TV, no radio, no...
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