The chocoholics addiction at last had its effect, requiring a trip to the emergency room. He craved cocoa in any form. All those chocolate malts and shakes, an unbelievable amount of hot chocolate, numerous...
The rookie writer stayed up late and awoke early, spending all her waking time working on news stories for The Spoof. To stay awake and to replenish the energy she used up at a rapid clip, the young writer...
The Doctor was blunt. You have a serious condition that requires removal of about half of your colon. The patient, a writer for The Spoof, was crushed. But, Doc, how can I survive if you remove my colon?...
While a young girl and her mother were sitting in a library reading room working on a book report about Trump supporters, the girl, noticing she was surrounded by a diverse group of people, asked her mother, Do you...
Why did the money launderer cross the road? To get to the Cyprus Bank and, all of his stolen money that he ripped off from his fellow Russian citizens...
When a tourist witnessing the theft of the Constitution of the United States from the Capitol rotunda by Donald Trump, asked a nearby Capitol policewoman, Why is the President allowed to just steal the...
Leaning heavily on his white cane, with his seeing-eye dog leading the way, the potential juror groped his way to the jury box as his name was called as Juror Number Nine.. The judge, who usually was...
Why would anyone pay 50 cents, let alone $500,000, to get a kid into USC? If it takes half a million to enter SC, whats it cost to get a diploma? The lyrics used to be: Time out for old SC, weve got...
A teacher is testing her students knowledge of geography with mixed results. Next question; Rose, where is Loch Ness? asks the teacher. Rose thinks for a second, and replies, Scotland? Thats correct....
A man is driving through the country on his way to his friends farm. Once there, he stops his car and looks at a terrifying scarecrow standing in the field. It has its hands on its hips, and its horrible...
If at first you don’t succeed, you might want to skip skydiving, was maybe the best advice I ever got from my doctor. I always respected the medical profession....
After a restless night in bed, and with the sun about to come up, a wife moans as her husband rolls onto his side with a loud grunt. Are you awake? she asks. Yeah....
A husband and wife are visiting Los Angeles, and are eating at a ritzy, posh restaurant in Hollywood. The wife spots an attractive lady at another table, and notices...
Donald Trump goes to see the doctor, complaining a newly imposed strict vegan diet is a real pain in the ass. The physician immediately gives him an MRI scan confirming...
The Pope today announced that he is taking strident actions to prevent sexual abuse and physical injury to nuns. As to that other issue, well hes working on getting a committee...
A wife is having trouble finding her husband in a large shopping mall, so she calls him on his cell phone and asks where he is. He answers the phone and asks her, Do you remember...
A guy goes to a coffee house, and the barista asks him what hed like to order. Hello, could I get a coffee with one sugar, but no cream. She shakes her head and replies, Were out...
Its not true that a ham sandwich walked into a bar, only to be told by the bartender, Sorry, we dont serve food here. However, it is true that the scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in...
(To the tune of Old King Wenceslas) Old Prince Philip ventured out in his posh Range Rover No one told the mad old git his driving days were over Then he had an accident - smashed into a Kia Philip...
Did you ever notice how heavy-lidded Joseph is in those plastic church lawn nativity scenes, like the man can barely stay awake? (I know that, having been the parent of infants. My wife knows it too....
Angus, a crazy, Scottish classical music fan, decided to visit Beethovens grave in Vienna. He checked out his tourist map and found the cemetery and walked to find the grave....
Long before he entered politics, a young Don Trump played bass fiddle for the Wall Street Dynamiters. When he arrived half-an-hour late to rehearsal for their upcoming gig, he was greeted with cat calls...
The first rule of being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister is: You do not talk about being highly attracted to your wifes flirty sister The second rule of being highly attracted to your wifes...
Why dont nuns like the Conftitution? They arent willing to uphold the Fecund Amendment. (Thif article fall be inoperative unless it fall have been ratified af an amendment to the Conftitution by the legislature...
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