Jokes

All jokes submitted by anthonyrosania.

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Dr. Drew's Body Count Rises To Two After Death Of Mindy Mccready.

How can a fraud, phony opportunist like Dr. Drew still go on TV and claim that he is helping G-List celebrities break free when theres now two people in his care that have died as...

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Penetrate and Cover the Tight End.

On a scale of 1-10, how old is Jerry Sanduskys boyfriend? Q: What was Jerry Sanduskys defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End. Q: If...

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Penn State: the only University where you can...

Penn State: the only University where you can major in minors! Jerry Sandusky walks into an elementary school just as classes are let out for the day, when a teacher approaches him...

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911 Emergency Services, 1869.

911, what is your emergency? Dot dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dot, dot dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dash,...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 8

Then I said You got your peanut butter on MY chocolate! Cool, right? So I explained who I was, why I was in her kitchen with a knife, and we laughed. Last night, I dreamt that I performed...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 7

Does anyone know of a fetish website where you can watch handsome men pee in a toilet? Im not into that, but I am looking for a new job. #gottaPEE High school kids follow me, so I feel uncomfortable...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 6

A lady doesnt drop her panties just because a man tells her shes pretty. That requires a delicate blend of empty promises and false hope. #canifuckyou When I take conference calls, I use two headsets....

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 5

I always follow my heart, but my heart tends to follow my penis. Im not sure if that makes me a total romantic or a hopeless slut. Waxing that ass means something completely different when youre part Asian...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 4

Its not really a threesome if she only lets you watch. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is not as bad as it sounds. Its also not as good as it sounds. Lets talk about something else. How do you know when youre capable...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 3

Ladies, if you masturbate with a cucumber then douche with vinegar and water, your vagina will taste like a pickle. @awordofadvice The only number I want from a girl is her IP address. I need to be cautious, Im...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 2

Have you noticed that girls expect us not to get upset when they call out the wrong name during the rapture of love? Breasts are practical. They feed babies, make womens clothes fit and keep their bras steady. However,...

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@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 1

I made my date made me uncomfortable by undressing her with his eyes. She wouldnt be so freaked out if I didnt clearly removed her jeans before her shoes. #seductionFAIL You can avoid the walk of shame if you bring your...

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May 21st baby!! The End of Days!

May 21st baby!! The End of Days! Got up, Started my new website; (First wifes name)GotHerpesAfterWeDivorced.org, Emptied the 401(k) and leased a Ferrari, And sent a mailbomb to every person who ever wronged me. Thank...

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Dear overweight female vocalists:

Dear overweight female vocalists: Stop singing And I Am Telling You Im Not Going. I get it, its a musical sandbox, chock-full of places for vamping, but even the best cover is 7/10ths of Jennifer Hollidays, so stop. There are...

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#fatpeople@NYMarathon

Tweets From Fat People At The New York Marathon... Sleepy now... Do they have pizza at the finish line? #fatpeople@NYMarathon Nipples bleeding. Shirt looks like the top half of the worlds doughiest Jack-O-Lantern. #fatpeople@NYMarathon...

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John Dilts Driving...

One day, John Dilts and his friend Tony were cruising in his Chevy Tracker. At one point, they came to an intersection. The light was read, but John drove right through it. Tony thought, I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went...

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#ifyoumarryme...

#ifyoumarryme... that would make you wife number 5. Or 6. I forget. #ifyoumarryme... be prepared to f--k on camera. A lot. #ifyoumarryme... good luck cleaning and shit. #ifyoumarryme... I will make it my #1 priority to make you happy. Follow...

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Has there been a change to Facebook etiquette?

Has there been a change to FB etiquette? Cuz it wasnt on Channel 7s newscast, and Sue Simmons never holds back on me. How many unrequited FB comments -slash- inbox-messages should one hit enter on before it is well within their right to deploy the...

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#becauseoffacebook....

Twitter makes me like people Ive never met and #BecauseOfFacebook I hate people I know in real life. #BecauseOfFacebook I know everybodys Birthday, I know what peoples Toilets look like and Random people are getting poked everyday. #becauseoffacebook...

Jokes

Dr. Drew's Body Count Rises To Two After Death Of Mindy Mccready.

Penetrate and Cover the Tight End.

Penn State: the only University where you can...

911 Emergency Services, 1869.

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 8

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 7

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 6

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 5

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 4

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 3

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 2

@AnthonyRosania's Most Retweeted Part 1

May 21st baby!! The End of Days!

Dear overweight female vocalists:

#fatpeople@NYMarathon

John Dilts Driving...

#ifyoumarryme...

Has there been a change to Facebook etiquette?

#becauseoffacebook....

Dear Nick Jr's Little Bear...

Dear Wal*Mart Self-Flushing Toilet: I'm not done pooping. Stop spraying my butt with your jumping-the-gun juice.

Dear Facebook: Why are the only two choices for 'Interested In'...

#StateFarmWasntThere Part 6.

#StateFarmWasntThere Part 5.

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