Women vs Men - 13 - The Perfect Day

Submitted by Inchcock

Monday, 28 June 2010

The Perfect Day For Her:

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 5 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed: fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lavender bath oil
10:00 Light workout at the club with handsome,personal trainer
10:30 Facial, Manicure, shampoo and comb out
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor café
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife .... she gained 30 pounds
1:00 Shopping with friends ... unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light workout at club, followed by a gentle massage
5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
7:30 Candle lit dinner for two, followed by dancing
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:30 Make love
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day For Him:

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow-job
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of the Sun
7:00 Breakfast; Fillet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee
7:30 Taxi arrives
7:45 Bloody Mary en-route to airport
8:15 Private jet to Gleneagles
9:30 Limo to the Golf Club
9:45 Manage a round of 2 under
11:45 Lunch: 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
12:15 Blow-job
12:30 Back nine at Gleneagles, 4 under
2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini)
2:30 Private jet home, take a nap
3:15 Afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
4:30 Land world record Carp
5:00 Private jet back home, massage and hand job en-route by naked Kathy Ireland
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 See newflash; England football team get a win!
7:30 Dinner; Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963)and a Steak
9:00 Remy Martin cognac and Cuban Partagas Cigar
9:30 Sex with 3 women
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
11:45 Bed (Alone)
11:50 12 second - 4 note fart.... dog leaves the room
11:55 Sleep


Go to top
48 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more