Women vs Men -08

Submitted by Inchcock

Monday, 28 June 2010

Men & Women - The Differences

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

DINING OUT: When the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in £20 notes, even though it's only for £22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and an out of date yoghurt. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed solid! This will not stop him from going to the 8-items-or-less till.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about fifteen years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a trailer and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams, and birthdays - A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


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