A little girl asked her father, 'do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected.'
The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.
It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!
Political cunning should never be mistaken for intelligence.
During Britain's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.
Crime is merely politics without the excuses.
Activity is the politician's substitute for achievement.
Standard interview response to unanswerable question: 'To be responsive at this time, though I will simply say, and therefore this is a repeat of what I said previously, that which I am unable to offer in response is based on information available to make no such statement'.
Why is it that political leaders don't seem to have all the answers until they write their memoirs?
The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.
A politician is a man who stands for what he thinks the voters will fall for.
A politician has to be able to see both sides of an issue, so he can get around it.