Three blokes were talking about what they were going to get their ladies for Valentine's Day.
The first fellow says, "I'm getting her two presents, a diamond necklace and diamond earrings. That way if she doesn't like the necklace, she'll like the earrings."
The second chap says, "I'm getting mine two presents, as well, a scarf and a bracelet. That way, if she doesn't like the scarf, maybe she'll like the bracelet."
The third fellow is a redneck. He says, "I'm getting my old lady two presents also, a nice T-shirt and a dildo. That way, if she don't like the T-shirt, she can go screw herself."