These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog... able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
*** And the WINNER is... ***
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica,
Excellent condition.....£200 or best offer.
No longer needed; got married last month.
Wife knows every f#%#%#g thing!