A woman kept a parrot as a pet and it quickly learned to speak quite clearly and intelligently.
One day when her husband came home from a lengthy business trip, he settled down to read the evening paper and the parrot screeched, "give it to me, give it to me".
The husband jumped up and red faced went into the kitchen where his wife was preparing him a nice dinner.
He demanded to know where the parrot learned that phrase.
The wife handed him a saltine cracker and told him to walk back by the parrot and the parrot immediately started screeching, "give it to me, give it to me".
"You never eat crackers in front of him, he is a smart bird", said the wife.
The husband was satisfied and settled down again and soon the parrot started moaning passionately.
The parrot is testifying for the husband in the divorce.