A man named Jed had a job which subjected him to random drug and alcohol checks. One day his number is drawn, and after his test, the technician notified him that he tested positive for drugs.
Jed adamantly denied taking any illegal drugs recently, so he was sent for an interview with the company doctor. During his interview, the doctor asked him to account for his activity the previous night.
Jed admitted to the doctor that he stopped off at the local bar after a ball game with his teammates. He told the doctor that gradually, one by one, the other ballplayers left until it was only himself and a woman in the bar.
He told the doctor that since he was by himself, he sat with her and bought her a drink, and pretty soon, she asked him for a ride home. The doctor asked, "Then what happened?" Jed told him that as soon as they got in the car, the woman became quite amorous, and she performed oral sex on him, and then asked him to perform on her. "Don't tell me that you did it," said the doctor.
"Sure I did," answered Jed "Why, what's the matter?" "Well, said the doctor, that's why you tested positive. That was a bar bitch you ate."