An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra
'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'
'I can cut them for you,' said Dan the pharmacist, 'But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.'
'I am 96,' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'