I'm a professional chicken hypnotist. At Purdue, I go into a dark room full of chickens and I light a small bulb and begin talking to them telling them they are sleepy. Then I tell them to hang go hang by their feet on the conveyor belt until a laser beam cuts their heads off. It's a peaceful death.
The only problem is, I once snapped my fingers in a KFC restaurant and there was an immediate panic in the kitchen area.