Paddy's out of work, walking past a garage, sees an ad' up for a mechanic.
Goes in and applies for the job. Tells the foreman he's fully qualified even though never worked as a mech' before in his life, just desperate for a job and the salary.
Foreman tells him to start Monday.
Paddy turns up for work promptly on the Monday morning. Foreman point to a car over the pit, tells Paddy to go and change the clutch.
Paddy is in a bit of a state, no idea what to do, so takes his toolbox over to the pit and pretends to slip while going down the steps and breaks his ankle.
Paddy's off work for six weeks but gets medical insurance pay.
When his ankle's mended Paddy goes back to work. Foreman points to a Vauxhall Astra on the hydraulic ramps and tells Paddy to go and change the clutch assembly in it.
Paddy drags his toolbox over to the ramps, walks under the Astra, poking around, no idea what he's supposed to be doing, so decides to pull another fast one and hits the ramp control panel with his elbow so it drops, and fractures his shoulder.
Paddy gets rushed off to hospital. Six weeks off work, shoulder in a cast, but gets paid medical insurance.
Once his shoulder's healed the doctor signs Paddy off and he returns to work.
Foreman points over to a Volkswagen and tells Paddy to go and change out the clutch assembly.
Paddy turns around, looks the Foreman in the eye and says "Fer fuck's sake, is there only me ever fixes clutches around here?"