My dad could raise the dead. Oh we never actually saw one but he'd close his eyes and grunt and mumble secret words and the smell was awful.
My dad was also a ventriloquist. To keep my younger brother and me in line, he told us he kept our older brother in a locked box -- even making him "speak" from the box in a high, pitiful, tortured voice.
At least, we think he was a ventriloquist.
-I.M. Moleturd
