A husband had watched his wife go from store and store as he sat and watched and was about to fall asleep.
"Wake up, Buddy!" said a mall security guard and hit him hard on the bottom of his shoe with a club.
Wife still shopping until she hears a commotion and sees it's her husband.
"What's wrong, Jim?"
"Oh, I got bored and went over there and asked the Victoria's Secret lady which color panty she thought would go with my beard."