An Irish terrorist has complained to his bank following a disastrous attempt to buy some ex-MoD ordnance.
After slipping into an army equipment surplus store the would-be bomber selected a few items including a reconditioned hand grenade.
He then proceeded to the self-checkout counter to pay by credit card for his haul.
'Insert cash or pay by card,' the robotic voice instructed.
'Now, please enter your PIN.'