Fed up with the Palace's rocketing electricity bills and flunkeys' reluctance to embrace energy efficiency the Queen put her foot down and decided do some shopping herself for a few essential domestic items.
Later that day a consignment of eco-friendly low-energy 'green' light bulbs arrived at Buckingham Palace in a package marked for her personal attention.
"Take it to the ballroom at once," HM told the Lord Chamberlain, "and don't forget to bring a ladder."
The underling duly obliged before joining her in the splendid Belle Époque salon which is illuminated by dozens of stunning Victorian chandeliers.
"Er, will you be putting them up yourself, Ma'am?" the majordomo inquired.
"Certainly not, you filthy little oik," an incensed Queen Elizabeth retorted, "they're all going in the chandeliers!"
