1:
The average piece of chocolate is at least six inches long.
2:
Chocolates stay hard for a week.
3:
Chocolate won't tell you size doesn't count.
4:
Chocolates don't get too excited.
5:
A chocolate never suffers from performance anxiety.
6:
Chocolates are easy to pick up.
7:
You can fondle chocolates in a supermarket - ...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8:
Chocolates can get away any weekend.
9:
With a chocolate you can get a single room - ...and you won't have to check in as "Mrs. Chocolate".
10:
A chocolate will always respect you in the morning.
11:
You can go to the movie with a chocolate ... and see the movie.
12:
At a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat.
Chocolate can always wait until you get home.
13:
A chocolate won't eat all the popcorn - ... or send you out for Milk Duds.
14:
A chocolate won't drag you to a John Wayne film festival.
15:
A chocolate won't ask: "Am I the first!"
16:
Chocolates don't care if you are a virgin.
17:
Chocolates won't tell other chocolates you're a virgin.
18:
Chocolates won't tell anyone your not a virgin anymore.
19:
With chocolates, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20:
Chocolates won't write your name and number on the men's room wall.
21:
Chocolates don't have sex hangups.
22:
Chocolates won't make you wear kinky clothes.
23:
Chocolates won't go to bed with boots on.
24:
Chocolates aren't into rope or leather.
35:
You can have as many chocolates as you can handle.
36:
You only eat chocolates when you feel like it.
37:
Chocolates never need a round of applause.
38:
Chocolates won't ask: Am I the best? How was it?
39:
Chocolates aren't jealous of your Gynecologist, or hair dresser.
40:
A chocolate won't want to join your support group.
41:
A chocolate never wants to improve your mind.
42:
Chocolates aren't into meaningful conversations.
43:
Chocolates won't ask about your last lover - ...or speculate about your next one.
44:
A chocolate will never make a scene because there are other chocolates in the refrigerator.
45:
A chocolate won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes.
46:
No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh chocolate.
47:
Chocolates can handle rejection.
48:
A chocolate won't pout if you have a headache.
49:
A chocolate won't care what time of the month it is.
50:
A chocolate never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
51:
A chocolate won't give it up for lent.
52:
With a chocolate, you never have to say you're sorry.
53:
Chocolates don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow.
54:
A chocolate won't give you a hickey.
55:
Chocolates can stay up all night - ...and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
56:
Afterwards, A chocolate won't: want to shake hands and be friends, say, "I'll call you a cab" or tell you he's not the marrying kind, call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist!
57:
Chocolates don't leave you wondering for a month.
58:
Chocolates won't make you go to the chemist's.
59:
Chocolates won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
60:
A chocolate a day keeps the OB-GYN away.
61:
A chocolate won't fill in your crossword incorrectly in ink.
62:
A chocolate isn't allergic to your cat.
63:
With chocolates, you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the flu season.
64:
Chocolates never answer your phone or borrow your car.
65:
A chocolate won't eat all your food or drink all your alcohol.
66:
A chocolate doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
67:
Chocolates won't go through your medicine chest.
68:
A chocolate doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray.
69:
Chocolates won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the bath tub.
70:
Chocolates don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
71:
A chocolate never fogets to flush the toilet.
72:
A chocolate doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
73:
With a chocolate, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
74:
Chocolate won't compare you to a centerfold.
75:
Chocolates don't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
76:
A chocolate will never leave you, for another woman, for another man, or for another chocolate!
77:
A chocolate will never call and say, "I have to work late, honey." ...and then come home smelling like another woman.
78:
A chocolate never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt!
79:
You always know where your chocolate has been.
80:
A chocolate never has to call "the wife."
81:
Chocolates never have mid-life crises.
82:
A chocolate won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex- nun.
83:
Chocolates don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
84: You won't find out later that your chocolate, is married, is on penicillin, or likes you, but loves your brother!
85:
A chocolate doesn't have football practice on the day you move.
86:
Chocolates never tell you what they did on R&R.
87:
A chocolate won't ask for a promotion just when you're up for a promotion.
88:
Chocolates don't care if you make more money than they do.
89:
A chocolate won't wear a leisure suit to your office christmas party.
90:
You don't have to wait until halftime to talk to your chocolate.
91:
A chocolate won't leave town on new year's eve.
92:
A chocolate won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy outfit.
93:
Chocolates never want to take you home to Mum.
94:
A chocolate doesn't care if you always spend the holidays with your family.
94:
A chocolate won't ask to be put throught Med school.
95:
A chocolate won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually.
96:
Chocolates never expect you to have little chocolates.
97:
Chocolates don't say "Lets keep trying until we have a boy."
98:
A chocolate won't insist the little chocolates be raised Catholic, Jewish, or orthodox vegetarian.
99:
A chocolate will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything!
100:
It's easy to drop a chocolate.
101:
You can Get chocolate.
102:
"If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
103:
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
104:
You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
105:
You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
106:
You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
107:
If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
108:
Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
109:
The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
110:
You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
111:
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
112:
You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
113:
With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
114:
Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
115:
You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
116:
Good chocolate is easy to find.
117:
You can never be too young or too old for chocolate.
118:
When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.
119:
With chocolate size doesn't matter; its always good!
120:
Chocolate does not have bad breath!
121:
Chocolate does not fart in bed!
122:
Chocolate doesn't lie or lay-about!
