Selection of Men Bashing Jokes - 61>70

Submitted by Inchcock

Friday, 20 January 2012

60)
A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel real good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a Twenty pound note to a useless bum."

"You mean you gave Twenty pound? That's a lot of money to give away
like that. What did you husband say about it?"

"Oh, he thought it was the thing to do. He said, 'Thanks'"

61)
Once heard from a girl who just broke up with someone: My old boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an Ass-hole

62)
I had parked my car in the supermarket parking lot and was walking past an empty shopping trolley, when I heard a female voice say, "Mister, are you using that cart?"

"No," I answered. "I'm only after one thing."

As I walked toward the store, I heard her murmur, "Typical male."

63)
My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen.

I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

64)
There are three things a man over 50 should never forget:
Never pass up the opportunity to take a leak.
Never trust a fart.
Never take a hard-on for granted.

65)
Women have their faults.
Men have only two.
Everything they say and everything they do.

66)
A woman is getting a sentimental feeling while watching a beautiful love scene in a movie. Her husband leans over and whispers those three little words that are on his mind:
"Pass the crisps."

67)
A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to football games, and bring him a beer.

68)
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.

So which is the dumber sex?

69)
They say that men only think about sex.

That's not exactly true.

They also care a lot about power, world domination, money, and beer.

70)
A man leaned toward an attractive woman at the busy bar counter, and asked her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."


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