An 69 year old man went into confession and told the priest:
"Father,I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night I had an affair, and made love to two 18-year-old girls last week. Twice."
"I see," said the priest. "When was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never, Father", replied the old man. "I'm Jewish"
"So why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everybody!"