Rufus, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the girls,so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him.
"Dude, it's obvious," says Studly the lifeguard,"you're wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Spandex Speedos about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin you man... you'll have all the babes you want!"
The following weekend, Rufus hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and for cryin' out loud! - it's worse than before! Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!
So Rufus goes back to Studly the lifeguard again and asks him "What's wrong now?"
"Jeezzzzz!"says the lifeguard.......
"The potato goes in the front!!"