Q) What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school canteen?
A) The food!
Q) "Why are you not eating your dinner?"
A) "Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days?
Pupil: All of them!
Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!
Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be?
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
Teacher: What is can't short for?
Pupil: Cannot miss
Teacher: and what is don't short for?
Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is?
Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!
Teacher: Why are you standing on your head?
Pupil: I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir!