According to all those TV commercials on while we are trying to watch a good football game, if you drink their brand of beer you'll get all the big-breasted babes who are frolicking on the beach.
What really happens is that, if you drink enough beer, the old lady will look better and better to you after the games.
Then, if you keep it up all football season, her belly will begin to push her boobs up higher and you'll develop your own nice set of hooters.
-Red Balls, Politician
