David Cameron received his bank statement, and died laughing.
His soul reaches the Paradise and found St. Peter at the gate, who said unto David "Welcome to Paradise! Before you could get in, there is a little problem. We rarely see politicians here, you know, so we do not know what to do with you..."
"I see, no problem just let me enter!" said David.
"I though I would like to let you in but I have higher orders as it's known… We will do the following: You pass one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. You can then choose where to spend eternity."
"It is not necessary, I have already decided. I want to stay in Heaven." David declared.
"Sorry, but we have our rules."
So, St. Peter takes David to the elevator and he comes down, down to Hell. The door opens up and he sees himself in the middle of a beautiful golf course.
In essence, the club where were all his friends and other politicians with whom he had worked. All very happy and smiling.
He was greeted, embraced and then they started to talk about the good times at Eton, then when they all got rich at the expense of the proletariat.
They played golf, relaxed, drank and then ate lobster and caviar.
Who was also present was the devil, a very friendly guy who spent all the time dancing and telling jokes. They enjoyed themselves so much that before they realised it was time to go.
After a lot of redundant hugs and words of farewell he enter into the elevator.
He rises, rises and the door opens up again. St. Peter was expecting him.
Now it's the time to visit the Heaven.
He spends 24 hours in paradise among a group of happy souls who go from cloud to cloud playing harps and singing. All went very well and before he noticed the day comes to an end and St. Peter returns.
"Now David what? You have spent one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Now choose your eternal home."
He thought for a minute and answered: "Look, I never thought to make this decision… The Paradise is very good but I think I'll be much better suited in Hell."
Then St. Peter takes him back to the elevator and he comes down, down to hell.
The door opens up and he saw himself in the midst of a massive ground full of garbage and a horrible smell. He saw all his friends with the clothes torn and very dirty searching the rubble and putting it in black bags. He also saw some of his friends in a violent dispute over some pieces of rotten food.
The devil put the arm by the politician's shoulder.
"I do not understand?" Mumbled David, "Yesterday I was here and it had a beautiful golf course, a club, lobster, caviar and we danced and had fun all the time. Now I see that it's only full of very smelly garbage and my friends are tattered, poor, desperate and poor!"
The devil looks at him. Smiles ironically and says:
"Yesterday we were in campaigning before the election. Now we have your vote... I'm sorry, this is the reality!"