Q: What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested?
A: An accomplice.
Q: What do you call a person who assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested?
A: A lawyer.
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Q: What do you do if you run over a Lawyer?
A1: Back over him to make sure.
A2: Make another notch on the steering wheel.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.
Q: What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
A: A Politician.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Collected from around the web's joke sites
