Medical Selection of Old Jokes - Adult Content!

Submitted by Inchcock

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?
She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

Misheard Instructions cause havock...
A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs.
Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Nurse Thatcher, I said 'Prick his boil!'"

Four nurses all decided to play a joke....
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk.
Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.

Squeaky Voice problem....
A man went to see a doctor because of a very high, squeaky, annoying voice.
The doctor examined him, and told him that the only way would be to replace his extremely large penis with a smaller one.
The guy is desperate and decides to go through with the operation. It's a great success and the man has a fantastic baritone.

But after some time the guy's sex life deteriorates and he decides to see the doctor to try get his original equipment back. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, is there any way that you could get me my original organ back, my sex life has gone bad."
"Not on your life!!" the doctor replies in a high, squeaky, annoying voice.

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