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From News Discussion / Lone boy on playground confirms speculation he's grounded from Fortnite
Posted 21 Jan 19 22:42
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What's happening to parents these days?

5

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Jan 19 04:00
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Sea exuded ambience.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Jan 19 03:59
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Seas, especially Adriatic Sea.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Jan 19 23:14
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Albatross: large bird, a 'true royal' of southern seas.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Jan 19 01:40
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You offered umbrella.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Jan 19 01:38
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Stupidity! That's ... unless, personally, I directed it towards you.

 
From News Discussion / Beverage Company Offers Bottling Service for Emotions
Posted 18 Jan 19 00:46
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"Or sell them."

Brilliant.

5

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Jan 19 21:50
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Very nice, Sir G.


Suspicions urge suspicious people into claiming I once needed stimulants.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Jan 19 14:17
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True story? I don't think I need to tell you, of all people, that it's only spoof stories on here.

Exit xenophobic international treaties.

 
From News Discussion / Trump Pleased That Media Has Allowed Jamal Khashoggi Murder Case To 'Rest In Peace'
Posted 17 Jan 19 04:41
Message
Oh dear.

I try not to get involved in forum squabbles anymore, but, seeing as you're talking about me ("And written by guess who??") I'll respond.


Quote: Jaggedone

Again we have 'double standards' accommodated here for those running this sad show! The powers that be crucify, delete and tell other writers, 'this spoof is a real news story and cannot be published!!!' Bullshit! Well what the F is this then? And written by guess who??




It was written by me, JO, but I am not one of the powers that be. My main contribution to editing is to add commas, and correct spelling mistakes.

I'll grant you that there isn't much in this story to laugh at, but that's the whole point. I don't have to cram jokes into a story. The 'joke' could be the way that people are allowed to do this kind of thing, and get away with it. Sometimes, it's a wry look at the inevitability of a world that is out of our control. Sometimes, it's something that's ironic. Why am I explaining this?


Quote: Jaggedone

The 'hexenjagd' here against my person took on a gigantic, hypocritical stance (thankfully it is slightly better now) due to the introduction of our new 'editor' who constantly gets away with publishing his own 'news stories' whereby others who attempt to do the same are sent the infamous message!




Who are these 'others'? Your disagreement with Mark was the result, I believe, of a whole swathe of your stories that were 'very slight adaptations' of 'real news stories'. The thread is still there to read, if anyone doubts this. I'm prepared to be proved wrong on this, but I think it was only you that received that 'infamous message' on a regular basis.


Quote: Jaggedone

I apologised for a personal attack on MW, but still I am of the opinion, he and Mark are taking this once lovable site into a dark abyss of 'Trumpian' crap (plus other US garbage) and killing any form of innovation, creativity and humor re daily happenings on our sad planet!




"...killing any form of innovation, creativity and humor..."? Whereas, you, yourself, provide these, right? In huge, great lumps.

I'd be interested to hear what other contributors think of the term 'US garbage', particularly the writers of the aforementioned garbage.

It's only my opinion, but, as far as 'writing in itself' goes, the US contributors make me think and laugh as much as non-US contributors, if not more.

Again, it's only my opinion.


Quote: Jaggedone

We writers here should have one goal; TO BRING SMILES TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ OUR EFFORTS (BTW, OVER 3 MILLION HAVE READ MY CRAP) TO CHEER THEIR MISERABLE DAYS UP AND NOT BOMBARD THEM WITH THIS POLITICAL, SO-CALLED SATIRE, WHICH IS JUST A DISJOINTED BLAST OF SUBJECTIVE OPINION HIDDEN IN A SO-CALLED SPOOF!

I have written here for nine years, been through all the wars caused by over-opinionated writers who gladly have disappeared, but still a 'Sword of Damocles' is hanging over this place and that sword is constantly being swung by our limp editor and his dear friend, MW...




I can tell you're upset.

I know that nothing short of 'total compliance with your wishes' will satisfy you, but the fact remains, the site has contributors from various places, and different things interest different people. If you don't like the 'US stuff', keep scrolling. Trump isn't everybody's thing, but I can tell you that Trump stuff is widely-read. Your vitriol towards US writers is bizarre, as are your claims of the levels of readership in the past, and how this was split between the various writers.

Your numbers - 3trillion, was it? - are unimportant, as are mine or anyone else's, seeing as they are just as likely to have come about through someone being duped by our fake headlines, as by anything else.

And, as we're talking about numbers, I'm still getting over your claim to have "personally saved the site", and to have "dragged thousands of people back here after the last disaster".

Thousands?

Stop quoting numbers. They're unimpressive, even if true, which...


Quote: Jaggedone

...attempt to get past your ambiguous team of so-called editors who prioritize their own work and disregard others because of any over-pedantic, pathetic and most unreasonable reason...




As far as I know, there's only me - apart from Mark - editing anything, and he, himself, will tell you, that his visits don't happen every day. Using the phrase "prioritize their own work" shows me that you mean me, because Mark - the only other editor - submits very little, and could not, therefore, be accused of prioritizing it. I don't prioritize my own work, JO. I just write it, then submit it. I write a lot. I also look down the list of other people's stories, articles, snippets, jokes and diary entries, and then edit them for things like commas and spelling mistakes. I rarely have to do much else, but, if there are any swear words in a submission, I tick the 'Offensive' box. Then I tick 'approve', and off they go. That's it. You'd be amazed, but some writers' stuff doesn't need any editing at all! Some does, however.

Your use of "over-pedantic" is interesting. I just like things 'right'. I can't remember anyone else complaining about my edits, but, if there are any people reading this who DO NOT want me to edit their typos, all they have to do is to contact me, and I'll leave the mistakes in, but my thoughts were that people would prefer to have their stuff presented in the best light possible, as far as grammar and spelling were concerned. There are a few other things that I have to be mindful of, such as keeping the submissions looking something like they would if they were to appear in a newspaper, or on a news website. That is, for example, without lots of swearing, or 'personal asides' in lots of brackets.

I've tried to explain things, JO, and so has Mark. Pour your energy into writing something funny for the pages, instead of something insulting in the forum.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 16 Jan 19 02:22
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Syrniki? Your Russian 'nous' is, komrade, impressive.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 Jan 19 04:27
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Midnight is dark; nocturnal insects gather, humming tunes.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Jan 19 11:25
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England now gone like a nightmarish dream.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Jan 19 05:15
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Moles: often lawn excavators supreme!

 
From General Discussion / With the greatest of respect...
Posted 12 Jan 19 00:13
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Saw this on the BBC, and thought it might be useful...

Sarcasm

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 Jan 19 11:42
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Smackeroonies: miraculous antonym! Cash knowledge exposes rumours of odious Nigerian international equity scam.


That'll do.

 
From News Discussion / Trump abandons plan for border wall, opts instead for 'invisible fence'
Posted 11 Jan 19 03:34
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The Emperor's New Clothes!

5

 
From News Discussion / Nashville Fly Finally Finds a Place to Rest
Posted 9 Jan 19 01:14
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Another good one.

5 stars

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Jan 19 06:32
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Payment, as you make each normal transaction.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jan 19 13:54
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Sing in Nirvana-like group.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jan 19 05:43
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Lyrics? You're right - I can't sing.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jan 19 05:41
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Tyrol yodelling rarely offered lyrics.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 4 Jan 19 11:26
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Encounters now come often under nuclear treaty, especially Rome summit.

 
From News Discussion / 2019 To Be Much The Same As 2018
Posted 2 Jan 19 11:00
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Happy New Year to you, too, Nashville!

Hope it's a good one for you.


 
From News Discussion / Jamal Khashoggi Officially Forgotten About
Posted 1 Jan 19 15:20
Message
I'm being absolutely honest with you, when I say that I don't know what you are talking about.

When I write a story - for example, about Trump or another politician - I am using the flimsiest of information that I might have read in 'the news', without knowing whether what I've read in 'the news' was true or not. What's more, I don't care whether it was true or not, because all I'm trying to do is write something that is funny, or would piss the politician off if he or she read it. That is how I get rid of my frustration about politicians, who I think, on the whole, are such terrible people.

I think that it's fair to say that only the earliest politicians were in the job 'for the good of the people', before bigger people gained control of governments, and used them for their own ends.

If it's of any interest to anybody, in the last few months, I've watched a lot of Adam Curtis documentaries. I can thoroughly recommend the 'Pandora's Box' series, especially number 1 about Russia's Gosplan, and the episode called 'The League Of Gentlemen', which is about the horrific economic decisions successive UK governments made in the 1960s/70s/80s. There's another one called 'Goodbye Mrs Ant' about DDT, and all kinds of lies the US government told Americans. Another series of his is 'The Power Of Nightmares', which, again, is about how governments tell fantastic lies to the public.

In one such example, the US government sets up a 'research' institute - Team B - to find out about secret Soviet weapons. Because, after they'd poured millions into the project without finding ANYTHING, they assumed not that the Soviets didn't have any such weapons, but that the Soviet weapons must be so advanced and so secretive, that they were undetectable, and, therefore, even more dangerous than Team B had suspected.

It was also guessed-at that, at the time, Soviet nuclear warheads numbered around 500, and so the US poured billions into matching this. Eventually, spy satellites revealed the Soviets had just 4 warheads.

Of course, maybe even Adam Curtis is making stuff up.



 
229 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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