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From News Discussion / "If You Vote For Trump You Ain’t Black"
Posted 30 Jul 20 00:24
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PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

K.C. Bell’s story meets all of the above. Although she(he) didn’t intend it to be a JOKE, it certainly is.

 
From News Discussion / German Jew Scolded for Refusing to Wear Piece of Cloth
Posted 24 Jul 20 13:16
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Attempting to sanction Jaggedone is like telling Marmaduke to stop licking his balls.

 
From News Discussion / John Bolton Reveals That President Trump Wanted To Buy Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras
Posted 23 Jul 20 22:50
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Not a bad effort. But Bolton’s book has run out of gas. Like most efforts to put one of Trump’s feet in the grave, and the other on a banana peeling, it has failed to have an impact. Same with his piss-mouth niece; another one week wonder.

Next time, pick on John Wayne. The Duke would have voted for The Donald.

 
From News Discussion / German Jew Scolded for Refusing to Wear Piece of Cloth
Posted 22 Jul 20 13:28
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Would this be published in THE ONION? I think not. Maybe that is why they pay their writers, while The Spoof does not.

 
From News Discussion / Trump Won’t Let Dr. Anthony Fauci Speak On CNN
Posted 21 Jul 20 22:41
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I find K.C. Bell’s story as funny as jock itch. You guys are so anxious to find hidden humor in K.C. Bell’s progressive gibberish that you jump the shark to kiss her ass for expressing your own political agenda.

I don’t care what political view you wish to promulgate. But express it with a little humor. I can read this vicious shit in the Washington Post or NYT. I don’t need to read it here.

The Doctor has spoken.

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 20 Jul 20 00:49
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Actually, I was using a quote from Gertrude Stein, who wrote of Oakland, “there is no there there.” I should have recognized her. I apologize for the lack of attribution.

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 18 Jul 20 23:04
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Who’s living in your Potemkin Village brain? Someone is trying to get out, but there’s no there, there.

Note: Next time, bring a ladder.

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 18 Jul 20 18:26
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I highly resemble that statement. I take it that your commie-pinko credentials are all in order.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 17 Jul 20 03:17
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If I wanted to read anti-Trump stories, I would prefer if they were written by Commie-Pinkos or other sub-humans, so that I could easily rebut them with ethnic slurs and anthropomorphismIcally inappropriate names that most decent people would find unsavory.

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 16 Jul 20 00:57
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Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface


Quote: Dr. Billingsgate
The University of California system has to limit the number of applicants of Asian heritage or they would overrun the campuses.


Am pretty sure this is bullshit.

As for the original story, it is lazy writing at best, and outright racism at worst.

How about tweaking the story to make it:

1) Rich white parents pay a Chinese boy to take their kid's SATs, and are angry when he gets worse results than their dumb son.

2) Rich white parents pay Chinese parents to pester their son into getting better grades.

3) Rich white parents pay for someone else to take their kid's SATs, but it doesn't matter because he's going to inherit $400 million dollars anyway.


Those all would be great stories. Better than mine. But if you want to keep up with the exploits of Harry Maguire, you better have someone with more sex appeal than a buck toothed Chinese boy with horn rim glasses to carry the story.

I like the idea about the kid who will inherit $400 million. I have found that money works better than sex if you are trying to move up the Top Writer’s chart.

Thanks for the inside dope. Will share any earning derived from your ideas.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 15 Jul 20 00:07
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Thelonius,

The University of California system has to limit the number of applicants of Asian heritage or they would overrun the campuses. The percentage of Asians living in California is far less than the percentage of those in the Universities. The only conclusion that can be drawn is that they are either smarter than other races, or they are better students.

By the way, did you notice that all of the students whose parents cheated and paid big money to get their kids into choice universities were White?

Myself, I am Caucasian. If anything, I was making fun of my own race for becoming obsolete.

 
From General Discussion / Exclusive Offer To Have Chinese Student Take Your White Child’s SAT
Posted 14 Jul 20 20:45
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Due to COVID19, for a limited time only, The Billingsgate Institute of Higher Learning is offering to have your White son or daughter’s SAT Exam taken by a Chinese student.
As you are aware, the testing has been delayed because of social distancing rules. The new test will be taken on-line, August 1, 2020, offering your child an opportunity to have the test taken by someone with a higher IQ than your drug addled brat. All correspondence will be kept confidential, unless you are dumber than usual and tell everyone how your exceptional child was accepted to Harvard. The fee will be determined by what score your child needs to get into the college of his choice. The fee will be $800 for a score of 1200, with increases of $100 for each hundred increase, with $1200 for a score of 1600. Remember: This is a limited time offer. For additional information, please call Sales Representative, Slim Everdingle, at 1.880.673.4111.

 
From News Discussion / Coronavirus Spelled Backwards = Suriv-Anoroc: A Coincidence?
Posted 4 Jul 20 20:43
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Quote: Dewani Unhatched


Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

For some reason, this story will not die. There have been 11,618 hits, and they just keep on coming. It is by far, my most read story.

It is so non-sensical, that even I don’t know what the point of the story is.


I can tell you why.

I promoted it on all my social media sites and sent to my mailing list (30,000+).


How can I compensate you for this? I would like to share my earnings with you. Do you take PayPal?

 
From News Discussion / Coronavirus Spelled Backwards = Suriv-Anoroc: A Coincidence?
Posted 3 Jul 20 13:53
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For some reason, this story will not die. There have been 11,618 hits, and they just keep on coming. It is by far, my most read story.

It is so non-sensical, that even I don’t know what the point of the story is.

 
From News Discussion / Mister Peanut Shelled By Protesters
Posted 3 Jul 20 00:56
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Hey Reggie,

Sounds like you could use a good dog. We just brought home a rescue dog today; a Wheaten Terrier - Poodle mix. Such a fun dog to brighten our days after our other dog passed away a month ago.

Strongly recommend.

Best regards,

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Mister Peanut Shelled By Protesters
Posted 2 Jul 20 13:36
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I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions regarding Mr. Peanut. I meant the story to be light-hearted, but also to point out the absurdities of statue toppling. I believe that some of your concerns were addressed, although somewhat subtly, by the quote below:


“Mr. Peanut's toppling leaves a lot of questions. Did Mr. Peanut have a haunted backstory that would lead to his statue being toppled? What a twist that would be! The monocled bourgeoisie icon had a secret past. Perhaps he lived a shelled life.”

 
From News Discussion / Man Fakes His Own Death So He Can Avoid Having To Wash the Dishes
Posted 30 Jun 20 13:22
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Loved it. A laugher.

 
From News Discussion / Spoof Readers Becoming Tired With The Spoof?
Posted 29 Jun 20 02:10
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I blame the fall-off of my readership on Monkey Woods. Although he claims that there is no algorithm which places stories based on the ethnicity of the writer, I believe he thinks I’m white. So all of my stories get buried in the Magazine section, which is the literary equivalent of being sent to the Gulags of Siberia.



 
From News Discussion / Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Posted 27 Jun 20 16:12
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You have finally broken the code. Congratulations!

 
From News Discussion / Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Posted 27 Jun 20 14:29
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A perfect example of the Poindexter Effect overriding common-sense solutions to dissonance reduction.

 
From News Discussion / Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Posted 27 Jun 20 13:58
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I suggest that we have a category for political articles that have been rejected by the New York Times and/or the Washington Post, either for not being progressive enough for the Opinion Section or funny enough for the Comic Section.

Or, perhaps have a “Vitally Concerned Non-Entity” section to replace the Magazine section. These stories could remain in Limbo, unread and under-appreciated, until discovered by archeologists some century in the future.

If you - and you know who you are - were expecting me to bend over and accept goose-stepping anarchists and Commie-Pinko ideologists taking over The Spoof, I would suggest you go quietly into the wind and find another forum for your diatribes.

Respectfully,

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Posted 27 Jun 20 03:33
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I hate to disagree...blah, blah blah. But I find her stories humorless and mean-spirited.

Her only redeeming feature, I suppose, is that she takes herself seriously.

Other than that, I suggest that she confine her writing to obituaries and holocausts.

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Do You Want A Clown Or President In The Oval Office?
Posted 27 Jun 20 01:03
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Quote: Aspartame Boy

Joe Bidet already in the “oval office”


Good place for him to sniff “around.”

 
From News Discussion / Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Posted 27 Jun 20 00:43
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What part of this political diatribe was satire, or for that matter, funny?

I may be missing the joke, but was this story supposed to make me laugh?

 
From General Discussion / Count assignment help to lower your academic workload in the US
Posted 17 Jun 20 15:48
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I’m somewhat ambivalent about the subject. But you have to stand for something.

Therefore, I will take a pass.

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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