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Forum Home / Magazine Discussion / Dick Gravy’s War Quiz


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Forumbot
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Posted: 14 Apr 18 16:49

Extract from Article:
Hello, I’m Dick Gravy and welcome to It’s a Funny Old War, where two veterans compete to see who knows the most about the War. You know, the Second World War? Let’s meet our contestants. Contestant number 1 is Geoff from Harrow. Geoff: Hello. Dick: It must have been very harrowing for you during the war. Geoff: Yes, it was. Dick: Hilarious! Now your question is: what was Prime Minis.....

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PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Sir Geoffroy Cockface
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Posted: 14 Apr 18 16:50
Best magazine article I’ve ever read! Or written!

Monkey Woods
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Posted: 15 Apr 18 01:28
Agree. Well, it was in my Top 1000.

I thought Geoff's questions were a little too easy, and Stacey's a trifle hard. There was not enough background information, for me. For example, Geoff's age, sexual persuasion, and Stacey's cup size.

I liked the way there was a feeling of 'rising tension' as the game progressed, though I wasn't surprised when Geoff ultimately won. It had 'fixed' written all over it.

Well done, Dick Gravy! And Merry Christmas.

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Erskin Quint
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Posted: 20 Apr 18 17:17
That's the best Dick Gravy quiz story I've read today. Well, maybe not today, but that is neither here, nor indeed there, when push comes to shove and we are trying to square this particular circle, or indeed sphere.

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Erskin Quint
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Posted: 20 Apr 18 17:18
And another thing - Fame and fortune can only be an infinitely large cock stride away after this latest magnum opus, Geoffroy, old fruit.

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Jaggedone
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Posted: 21 Apr 18 11:26
did they boil gravy in the trenches?

Nutters United...
Sir Geoffroy Cockface
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Posted: 22 Apr 18 12:55
I once met Dick Gravy. He had the cold clammy handshake of Louis Pasteur. Stank of opiates too. Although now I think about it, I had just snorted a large amount of them, so almost everything smelled of opiates at the time.

PS. I believe the trenches were filled with gravy, as a nutritious and brothy moat to keep the vegan Hun out.


Jaggedone
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Posted: 23 Apr 18 07:47
Bisto Old Bean, Bisto...

Nutters United...
victor nicholas
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Posted: 24 Apr 18 02:02
After much trial and error by headquarters to supply the troops at the front with dried goods, tinned beef and tea heated with primus stoves it was decided to fill the trenches with gravy which provided both warmth and sustenance to men who then could fight without breaking for lunch. Gravy was our secret weapon and strategic advantage, dark brown and oily with drippings with men floating in it like Yorkshire puddings popping off enemy soldiers while picking their teeth before pie was served with coffee.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jaggedone
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Posted: 24 Apr 18 07:53
VC, you were obviously there and the world wishes to thank you for your in-depth explanation as to why us Brits are so fascinated with this life-saving product, and such an important part of Brit history and heritage!

In fact, I get on my knees every day to thank those brave men who sacrificed their lives for the sake of making gravy immortal (and Yorkshire puds) so GB can safely exit the EU with Brexit and, never run dry.

Gravy is in fact a secret UK, WMD, that pertains solely to the British Empire, which destroyed everything in their wake whilst ruling the planet! Maybe Trump should nick the recipe because he is certainly destined to fail to do what our once great nation achieved...God save our glorious Bisto, and not the new royal baby; AMEN!

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Erskin Quint
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Posted: 24 Apr 18 19:22
Yes! And think of all the modes of transport that have taken their names from our wonderful gravy: like trains, boats, er, and, er, er.........rickshaws?

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Monkey Woods
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 00:49
And the way the word can accurately describe something that resembles a grave:

"Oh dear, Alan! Why have you dug that hole so deep? You're only planting a few daffodils! That looks rather 'gravy', wouldn't you say?"

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victor nicholas
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 01:12 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 26 Apr 18 01:29
Once our ally and saviour the rivers of dark gravy slowly turned on us. Instead of floating on it like corks and drinking our fill as we wished hungry or not the material of the gravy bit by but began coursing through our veins making us heavy and dulling our senses. Self-satisfied we did not see that gravy had become our master.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jaggedone
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 07:47
no joke, my wife actually makes a superb veggie, onion gravy! It tends to create combustible reactions in the lower areas of the intestines, but passes, with hot air and whiffs, usually whilst sitting on the potty, if I can control it that is...

Rather wonderful actually, and I can imagine gravy being offered to North Korea as a sign of peace because North Korean gravy has yet to conquer the planet like Bisto did many years ago...

As for MW entering a philosophical debate about the misconceptions of explanation pertaining to this wonderful product, I sincerely hope to take a pot or two to the next world..I am sure they will love it...

Nutters United...
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 11:29
"Was meanen Sie?"

Philosophical? I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed.

I'll get me coat.

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Jaggedone
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 17:30
deep, grave-digging theories remind me of the time I sipped the glorious stuff at my first wedding, which ended up in a grave after the seven-year-itch.

Luckily, my present wife of over 30 years makes impeccable gravy even Hitler would have been proud of during his stint with mud up to his knees in opposition trenches. I do believe he love a drop of the 'brown' stuff too...

Did Churchill and Adolf have a parley in the Somme talking tactics about part 2? The never-ending gravy train I guess...

Nutters United...
Erskin Quint
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Posted: 25 Apr 18 20:50
And then there was the Laurel & Hardy film with the little dog called 'Laughing Gravy'. Why it was called that, fuck knows. The dog's name was Henry.

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