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Forum Home / News Discussion / I sexually harassed myself in the workplace says quarantined home-worker


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AuthorMessage
Forumbot
Automated
Posted: 19 Feb 22 16:59

Extract from Story:
A 47-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that he made lewd remarks and carried out a number of unwanted sexual advances towards himself while working from home under lockdown Toby Dell, a graphics designer from Leman Street told The East London Gazette: “The first time it happened was when I tried to commit an inappropriate act with myself just two days after…...

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Ryan McPherson
Writer


Location: Texas, USA
Registered: 9 Nov 21

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Posted: 19 Feb 22 17:00
That is a great satire piece. Well done.

Danny Soz
The Rt Hon.
Danny Soz

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 21 Feb 22 02:02

Quote: Ryan McPherson

That is a great satire piece. Well done.


Cheers Ryan.

I've been practising



Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 23 Feb 22 01:46
There are two remedies for self-sexual harassment. Both have been certified by various government agencies:

1: Scotch tape your hands to your sheets at night. If the seal is broken, you will know that you have harassed yourself.

2: Crazy glue your nuts to the bed frame. This will prevent you from pole-vaulting out of bed and hurting yourself.

Respectfully yours,

Dr. B

Danny Soz
The Rt Hon.
Danny Soz

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 23 Feb 22 04:30

Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

There are two remedies for self-sexual harassment. Both have been certified by various government agencies:

1: Scotch tape your hands to your sheets at night. If the seal is broken, you will know that you have harassed yourself.

2: Crazy glue your nuts to the bed frame. This will prevent you from pole-vaulting out of bed and hurting yourself.

Respectfully yours,

Dr. B


Once again, your wisdom belies your tender years Doc.

Danny

Dewani Unhatched
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Dewani Unhatched

Location: Fort Lauderdale
Registered: 4 Dec 18

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Posted: 24 Feb 22 20:55
A good one again from Clive. Thank goodness we have this to read and not the churned-out' dross for points' that so often clogs up the site.

Danny Soz
The Rt Hon.
Danny Soz

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 25 Feb 22 04:07

Quote: Dewani Unhatched

A good one again from Clive. Thank goodness we have this to read and not the churned-out' dross for points' that so often clogs up the site.


Thanks mate.

It's my contention that some people must churn out copy like sausages from a hand-cranked machine, morning, noon and night.

It's enough to make you adopt a vegan lifestyle, mate


 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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