Discussion Forum

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Extract from Story:
The editor of a satirical news website has been severely reprimanded for his behavior whilst carrying out his duties, by one of the site's writers who is, judging by the colorful language he used, upset. Moys Kenwood, of TheSpoof.com, has been adding commas and full stops, and removing writer-uploaded images that might present 'copyright issues' for the site's owner, Mark Lowton - who is a busy…...

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

He's a top Tosser, a wanker, comma, comma, comma, full stop, where the fuck are they? No, he's a fucking moron, an ignorant imbecile, an uneducated twat, comma, comma, comma, full stop, where the fuck do they belong??? No, you fucking butthole, anonymous spoofer, you are not on the Financial Times platform.

OOps sorry Big Brother, I didn't know you was born in 1980 not 1984.

Fuck in hell, this writer has just topped himself...MW you have won your duel, now go and have a wank on whoever it is!

BTW, PM's are PM's not public messages,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!

One comma too many I guess: LMFBO.......................................ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

My story does not contain the writer's name, so I think it should be fine.

My professional advice: If you don’t like commas, do like Ernest Hemingway and write using simple sentences.

But, alas. Hemingway is long gone and took his secret with him.

Simplicity is a bliss Doc. A bliss some people just will not accept. Those who do not accept simplicity always need to over-complicate the simplest of things, like Spoofing...

Really, be honest, who gives a shit about a comma or none? No cunt who has ever read a spoof here has sat down and studied the wrongs and rights of different interpretations of the English language.

Only wannabe, linguistic intellects participate in such nonsensical practices, I prefer a wank if the missus is not watching.

BTW:

There is a town in Germany called Wankum
People there pronounce it VANKUM
Brits laugh their butts of whilst passing
Krauts don't know why, let's ask them

Ich liebe Wankum, sagen Sie
Dick in meine Hosen, jawohl, euphorie
Ein Wanker in Wankum ist ein Wichser
Eine Pussy in Hull ist eine Loser

Zats ze vay ze Velt ist, vull of Vankers!

LMFBO!

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Quote: Jaggedone

Simplicity is a bliss Doc. A bliss some people just will not accept. Those who do not accept simplicity always need to over-complicate the simplest of things

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I agree, and there's nothing more simple than simply following the simple rules of something. The English language, for example.

By not accepting the standard and 'accepted' way of doing things, YOU, JO, are over-complicating things.

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Quote: Jaggedone

Really, be honest, who gives a shit about a comma or none? No cunt who has ever read a spoof here has sat down and studied the wrongs and rights of different interpretations of the English language.

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Yes, JO, but my initial PM to you did not mention anything about commas. You have introduced that yourself.

If you remember, I asked you to be more careful about some things. If you wish me to drag it out here, I will, but I'd have preferred it otherwise.

It's true that I am someone who likes things correct. Maybe I am a bit overzealous with this 'correctness'. And, as Sir Geoff pointed out recently, I'm not always right. When I'm wrong, however, I come clean and admit it. I might try to explain why I'd thought I was right, but I wouldn't resort to using words like BUTTHOLE in my response.

That would be rude.

But is 'being correct' such a bad thing? In my opinion, having something correct is far better than having it incorrect. And by 'incorrect', I mean in the often-garbled stream-of-consciousness kind of way that you present it, JO, as well as it crash-landing in the Approvals section without any attention to spelling, punctuation or grammar.

You enjoy dropping artists' names into your posts, as if, by using them, they will defend your ridiculous view on how the language should be used. I'm not really interested in painting, but I can appreciate that, in their field, they knew what they were doing with a brush. I think you may have already said that van Gogh didn't conform to previously-held thoughts about 'the way things should be done', and felt he had to break with tradition - or something like that.

Is that what you are trying to do with the English language?

For your information, if I see something like this:

"The planet get's crazier by the day..."

I'll remove the apostrophe. If I see:

"...a sauce only suitable for the male pallet..."

I'll change it to:

"...a sauce suitable only for the male palate..."

If I see:

"...hoarding pallets of the stuff..."

I'll leave it alone. If, however, I see:

"...too bitter for US pallets..."

when you next see it, you'll be reading:

"...too bitter for US palates..."

And all in one story! I wondered how, what with your love of painting, you miraculously avoided using 'palettes', but that might have been too much.

If you ever go into a library, do you start shouting, and call the librarian "BUTTHOLE!" when she asks for your library card, which you haven't brought?

Do you pay for things at the supermarket? It occurred to me that, refusing to conform to rules, you might also refuse to pay, or that you might try to pay with Monopoly money.

Do you open your mouth for the dentist, or expect him to look at your teeth through your cheek?

Do you look both ways when crossing the road, or just march straight across, bawling that you are "L. R. Johnson!" and that you don't need to conform to the normal way of doing things?

These are, in my humble opinion, things that can't be 'got around'. We have to do them, otherwise all kinds of things happen next.

English is like that. Written English, at least.

Whether you like me or not (you don't know me) is unimportant. Your insults amuse me far more than your stories, and provoke me only inasmuch as I reply with one of these long tracts of bullshit that nobody else really wants to read, but are compelled to do so because you posted the comments that you did.

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Quote: Jaggedone

I prefer a wank if the missus is not watching.

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An interesting insight. I'll try to incorporate it into a story at some stage.

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Quote: Jaggedone

There is a town in Germany called Wankum

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Do you live there?

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Quote: Jaggedone

Ich liebe Wankum, sagen Sie
Dick in meine Hosen, jawohl, euphorie
Ein Wanker in Wankum ist ein Wichser
Eine Pussy in Hull ist eine Loser

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Please tell the Germans that poems go in the Magazine, JO.

Tschüß

Let us pray continue:

You fucking changed the image of my excellent, incompetent, incorrect, imbecilic spoof once again! (Now where's that comma? Oh, by golly it's disappeared up your butt, quick, fart in your lift and re-edit it quickly otherwise I'll be banned once again)

The 'comma' thing was an exaggeration of your pedantic, control-freak, dominance here, which I hate. But obviously, such a perfectionist like yourself would not have detected my 'piss take!'

This thread is a 'write' lark! (it's singing in my moronic head as I write, right) and no, I do not live in Wankum (which really exists BTW, Google it. Oh no, MW googling, that's below his imperial command of all things correct).

Re poems in magazine: They are lost there just like my commas and full stops are between my insanity, and failure to grasp your superior position. Oh, where am I BTW? Yes, at last, 'Ik begrijp het' (Double Dutch, explains everything here), checking where my shares are disappearing to in the Financial Times! Fuck- in-hell, I thought I was on The Spoof....

Dear MW, please edit, I am such a Dickhead, and I need you like a toothache caused by my pathetic, sad, non-educated roots.

PS: Non-racist Roots!