Discussion Forum

---

Extract from Story:
US President Donald Trump raised the hopes of US citizens yet again, yesterday, with what he called "tremendous positive news" about research into a cure for the deadly coronavirus. "We've been looking at the moon", he told reporters at yesterday's press briefing. "As far as we can tell, there's no corona up there. No cases. They have zero cases. I'd like to know why that is. Can we look at tha.....

Click here for full story »

---

Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

I have a problem with this story by Mr Quint. It's too realistic.

Regards

Skoob

I think this story is tremendously tremendous and contains some of the best, non-fake quotes from the U.S. President I've ever heard. In fact they're so good I'm definitely voting for him at the next election - and I'm an Aussie. Thank God he's the man with the finger on the Big Red Button, I feel safer than ever. Red S. Crotum.

Thank you chaps, very kind.

I did try to capture his style, which a lot of stories don't. He's a very easy target as he just seems to ramble on, which is right up my street really.

I now realise I'd need a "better" headline to score lots of points but I don't give a toss about scoring lots of points.

---

Quote: Erskin Quint

I did try to capture his style, which a lot of stories don't. He's a very easy target as he just seems to ramble on, which is right up my street really.

---

My stories don't. I'm not very good at that. Doesn't he use strange words like 'bigly'?

---

Quote: Erskin Quint

I now realise I'd need a "better" headline to score lots of points but I don't give a toss about scoring lots of points.

---

What's wrong with points?

Don't points mean prizes?

I suppose another way is to just ignore what people actually sound like, eg in my recurring snippets where the Pope talks in Jewish slang, or Alfred, Lord Tennyson speaks like a beatnik, eg (again):

---

Derbyshire Vicar Ravaged by Woodworm

His Holiness The Pope on housework: "Am I a yutz? What kind of schmendrick does their own cleaning? I should schlep room to room. I got some shiksas with mops and buckets to take care of all that schmutter."

---

---

Nude Postman Scandal Rocks Vatican

"Wombats drive me crazy, man", says Alfred, Lord Tennyson. "A wombat is one crazy marsupial. Those cats are really gone."

---

I know that Tennyson is dead. For me, that does nothing to defray the veracity of his opinions. Do we not also have, within the aforementioned snippets, the opinions of Prince Ferdinand Georg August of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, who died in 1851 and is none the worse for it, in terms of his perspicacity when it comes to modern culture.

Of course, like so much of my "work", these snippets are very much a no go area as far as The Spoof's "readers" are concerned, and the above characters are, as a consequence very much persona non grata to the said "readership".

Which, I feel, also covers your second query on the matter of points.

I have nothing against points, and neither do my snippets, which is very much my point, if there is one.

In the end, I am not concerned with points. They do not confront me.

Were I to have the gift of the gab, or the common touch, then I would not need to till and toil in these obscure acreages.

But such is my path. It is, perhaps, a path to freedom, in its way.

I can write any old tripe, comforted by the old eulogism (sic) that sings: Nobody reads this rubbish anyway.

Not for me the ranting and indeed raving of those tormented and broken on the wheel of the Top Writers Chart, with its demon hordes ready to trap the unwary.

I have my own demons and they are quite enough thank you. No new demons need apply.

I hope that clears things up, as the Pox Doctor said to the Archbishop.