Discussion Forum

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Extract from Story:
The world of showbusiness was in mourning today, when one of the greatest comedians who ever lived sadly passed away. Eddie Large, 78, died of coronavirus yesterday. He was famous during the 80s as the loud half of double act Little and Large. "He was a legend," said fellow comedian Ken Dogg. "One minute he would call Sid Little a poof, then the next he would randomly do a Popeye impression. An.....

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

Love this.

Dear Spoof,


Can I just say that I don't think this is entirely correct, given the subject matter at this time?

After all, neither Laurel, nor indeed Hardy - by which I mean to say, neither Laurel nor Hardy - wore glasses, so the comparison is hardly apropos.

One was fat and one was less so, if hardly skinny, so fair play, as far as that goes (ie, not as far as going into the thing about glasses).

And I have to say that the wombat was a step too far. Normally I like anything with wombats, but I think, with the Australian bush fires, they have had quite enough to cope with, without making them wear glasses and pretend to be Laurel and Hardy (neither of whom wore glasses, by the way. If they had had glasses, no doubt they wouldn't have got into all those scrapes, and they wouldn't have been as funny - not that I am casting any aspersions about Little and Large here).

PS During the recent bush fires, there was no talk of "key workers". Surely, if any could be allocated that accolade, it would be our friends the wombats? I feel sure that the accolade should be allocated, so that they could have their rightful allocation of accolades. There they were, bearing the brunt of the fires, and still remaining their cuddly selves on Facebook. Hats off to the wombats, the original key workers.

Dear Erskin,

I’m puzzled by your disinformation on Wombats. I have traveled throughout Australia many times. My son lives there. I have a doctorate in Vombatidology and consider myself the last word on Vombatus ursinus. I have even raced wombats through obstacle courses to test their stamina and their ability to think their way around rocks and trees without running through them.

Laurel and Hardy, to my recollection, never did an episode which included a wombat for comedy relief. On the other hand, The Three Stooges used Wombats in many of their episodes, as did Abbott and Costello.

As fate would have it, none of these comics wore glasses.
How you got on this tangent shows how little you know about your subject.

Next time, you might research your subject before expounding on it. You never know who might read it.

Respectfully,

Dr. B

Dear Dr Billingsgate

thank you for your reply, which is very interesting.

You see fit to accuse me of knowing nothing about wombats. You refer to a doctorate in Vombatidology
and cite this as if in an attempt to verify your veracity and your good standing as an authority on the wombat, or indeed wombats in general (being an authority on a particular wombat would cut little ice in these debates, as I am sure you know).

Impressed by this vaunted qualification, I turned to our old friend Google. Below was the result of my Google Search:

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Your search - Vombatidology - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure that all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.

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Would you, good Doctor, perhaps be able to assist me in my seeking? Do you know any keywords - more general, perhaps, as Google suggests - or any different spellings that might elicit a more promising result?

Your in anticipation,

Erskin Quint Esq.

I could suggest a few, if required to do so.

Well, Google can work, sometimes.

I am able to verify this by reference to searches that I have recently conducted in relation to a certain correspondence in which I have become embroiled:

bogus


adjective
not genuine or true (used in a disapproving manner when deception has been attempted).
"a bogus insurance claim"

mountebank

noun
a person who deceives others, especially in order to trick them out of their money; a charlatan.

Could you tell us more about this correspondence, please?

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Quote: Erskin Quint

Dear Dr Billingsgate

thank you for your reply, which is very interesting.

You see fit to accuse me of knowing nothing about wombats. You refer to a doctorate in Vombatidology
and cite this as if in an attempt to verify your veracity and your good standing as an authority on the wombat, or indeed wombats in general (being an authority on a particular wombat would cut little ice in these debates, as I am sure you know).

Impressed by this vaunted qualification, I turned to our old friend Google. Below was the result of my Google Search:

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Your search - Vombatidology - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure that all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.

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Would you, good Doctor, perhaps be able to assist me in my seeking? Do you know any keywords - more general, perhaps, as Google suggests - or any different spellings that might elicit a more promising result?

Your in anticipation,

Erskin Quint Esq.

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Dear Erskin,

From Wikipedia:

The common wombat, also known as the coarse-haired wombat or bare-nosed wombat, is a marsupial, one of three extant species of wombats and the only one in the genus Vombatus. The common wombat grows to an average of 98 cm long and a weight of 26 kg. Wikipedia
Family: Vombatidae
Scientific name: Vombatus ursinus
Order: Diprotodontia
Class: Mammalia
Rank: Species
Higher classification: Vombatus


With due respect: Please learn how to use Google. As you can certainly read, the common wombat belongs to the genus “Vombatus.”

In scientific circles, the study of a specie normally includes the name of the specie + the suffix.

Thus, Vombat + idology = Vombatidology

The doctorate on my office wall reads:

Viscount Billingsgate, PhD Vombatidology, La Fontaine College

PS: Try spelling it Vombatology. The Dean of the School of Vombats may have inadvertently spelled it incorrectly on my degree.

Dear "Doctor Billingsgate",

Ignoring your subtle "goalpost-moving" legerdemain, I have persisted with the gambit, and used Google as suggested, in the hope of wombat-based enlightenment.

Imagine my chagrin, then, when, upon clicking the appropriate screen icon, I was confronted with the following:

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No results containing all your search terms were found.
Your search - Vombatology - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure that all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.

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In view of the above (it is of course not really "above" in any meaningful sense; we are merely observing screen-based conventions in order to pursue a futile rigmarole), in view of the above, I say, I am moved to query: would you have any further advice to proffer the diligent pilgrim, or additional words of wisdom to promulgate?

PS I did suspect that the word "Vombat" had more than a touch of the cod German about it, and my endeavours have done nothing to assuage this unease.

Yours,

Erskin Quint Esq.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Could you tell us more about this correspondence, please?

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Dear Mr Woods,

I am afraid that I may have already said too much, as far as the correspondence in question goes, which is, as the infamous 17th century poodle-faker Maurice Stinkhorne said "from here to there and back, which, in the end, is nowhere at all".

Yours

E Quint Esq.