Forum Home / Login / Register

This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / News Discussion / Mayor Pete Could Be The Girl Next Door


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
Forumbot
Automated
Posted: 22 Feb 20 04:40

Extract from Story:
BILLINGSGATE POST: Wouldn’t it be nice if someone as sweet and wholesome as the girl next door became our next president? Mayor Pete is all that and even more. Until he first started shaving at the age of seventeen, everyone thought he was a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen at the local high school. His parents knew when he first came out of the womb that he would someday make something of himsel.....

Click here for full story »


Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Clive Danton
Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 04:44
Not enough poorly-written, heroically unfunny tripe about Association Football for my taste.

Speaking of unfunny tripe, did anyone see the Singapore Airlines piece on the fp this morning?

I mean, WTF!

I'm done here, folks.

The will to live is weak in this one

Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

Location: Planet Earth
Registered: 29 Dec 06

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 08:45

Quote: Clive Danton

Speaking of unfunny tripe, did anyone see the Singapore Airlines piece on the fp this morning?




I know what you mean, CD, but, after I'd initially rejected it for being 'unfunny', the writer complained and said it was 'fake news'.

As I'd got out of bed on the left-hand side this morning, and not wanting to upset any new writers, I let it go.

By the way, have you changed your name to 'Denton'?

Clive Danton
Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 13:18
Fake news but genuine dross, in my view.

I've been the editor of two online magazines and if that piece had been subbed to me I'd have impaled it on the spike and given its writer his sandwiches wrapped in a road map.

Denton? No that's the name of my panel-beater.



Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 15:09

Quote: Clive Danton

Fake news but genuine dross, in my view.

I've been the editor of two online magazines and if that piece had been subbed to me I'd have impaled it on the spike and given its writer his sandwiches wrapped in a road map.

Denton? No that's the name of my panel-beater.


Clive, I believe MW was referring to my misspelling of your name in my new story, “Monkey Woods Is Really Football Writer Stuart Mathieson.”

I believe our distinguished editor allowed it to be printed “as is” to rat fuck me. Either that, or he totally missed it.

My sincere apology.

Dr. B

Clive Danton
Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 16:15
Doc. Don't sweat the small stuff, brother. I say that as a man whose Christian name was once shouted out as, 'Olive'.in a chemist's shop (drugstore to you, mate) where I was waiting to get my prescription filled.

That walk of shame as I shuffled up to the counter past sniggering customers will live with me until my dying day.

"Denton' is very small beer when taken in comparison, I think you'll agree.

Kind Regards

Olive Danton (Miss)

Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

Location: Planet Earth
Registered: 29 Dec 06

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Feb 20 17:37

Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Clive, I believe MW was referring to my misspelling of your name in my new story, “Monkey Woods Is Really Football Writer Stuart Mathieson.”

I believe our distinguished editor allowed it to be printed “as is” to rat fuck me. Either that, or he totally missed it.




Yes, I completely missed it.

That's why I asked Clive. I do things like that.

But it wasn't to "rat fuck" you either. Sometimes, people deliberately spell names incorrectly. Would you like me to change it to 'Danton'?

Or 'Dinton' might sound nice...

Or even 'Olive Danton'.

Let me know.

Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 23 Feb 20 03:31
It was my mistake. I would have never made it if he were still using Johnny Shlep. But you can change it to Danton just to be correct.

Thanks,

Dr. B

Thelonius
Writer


Registered: 7 Dec 11

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 23 Feb 20 07:19
I also have a bone to pick. My last effort was left “as is” when I was expecting everything that wasn’t funny to be replaced by something that was funny. I suppose it was left “as is” to rat fuck me, whatever that is.

Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 23 Feb 20 15:17

Quote: Thelonius

I also have a bone to pick. My last effort was left “as is” when I was expecting everything that wasn’t funny to be replaced by something that was funny. I suppose it was left “as is” to rat fuck me, whatever that is.


Ratfucking is an American slang term for political sabotage or dirty tricks. There are “rat fucks” and “giant rat fucks.”

I would put this one right in the middle.

Hope this explains.

Dr. B

Thelonius
Writer


Registered: 7 Dec 11

Forum Profile
Writer's Profile
Posted: 23 Feb 20 21:51
An alternative definition from the Google site you copied and pasted ( you should have given credit ) is given here.

-The term ratfucking (rat in this case is shorthand for ration) is a slang term used by U.S. military personnel to mean the targeted pillaging of MREs (Meals, Ready-To-Eat), which the U.S. military calls field stripping. It refers to the process of opening a case of MREs, which are packed 12 in a box, opening up individual MRE packages, removing the desired items (generally M&M's and other sweets), and leaving the unenticing remainder. ( taken from Google )

In this definition I am a ratfucker at this place. I choose the best and leave the rest.

I am glad you write here Dr B, and hope you continue to do so. I just wish your competitive and negative nature, supported by Clive Dentin for whatever reason, would stop.

Yes, I ratfucked you a little, but only because you ratfucked someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Now, write away!


 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum
Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more