Discussion Forum

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Wouldn’t it be nice if someone as sweet and wholesome as the girl next door became our next president? Mayor Pete is all that and even more. Until he first started shaving at the age of seventeen, everyone thought he was a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen at the local high school. His parents knew when he first came out of the womb that he would someday make something of himsel.....

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

Not enough poorly-written, heroically unfunny tripe about Association Football for my taste.

Speaking of unfunny tripe, did anyone see the Singapore Airlines piece on the fp this morning?

I mean, WTF!

I'm done here, folks.

The will to live is weak in this one

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Quote: Clive Danton

Speaking of unfunny tripe, did anyone see the Singapore Airlines piece on the fp this morning?

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I know what you mean, CD, but, after I'd initially rejected it for being 'unfunny', the writer complained and said it was 'fake news'.

As I'd got out of bed on the left-hand side this morning, and not wanting to upset any new writers, I let it go.

By the way, have you changed your name to 'Denton'?

Fake news but genuine dross, in my view.

I've been the editor of two online magazines and if that piece had been subbed to me I'd have impaled it on the spike and given its writer his sandwiches wrapped in a road map.

Denton? No that's the name of my panel-beater.

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Quote: Clive Danton

Fake news but genuine dross, in my view.

I've been the editor of two online magazines and if that piece had been subbed to me I'd have impaled it on the spike and given its writer his sandwiches wrapped in a road map.

Denton? No that's the name of my panel-beater.

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Clive, I believe MW was referring to my misspelling of your name in my new story, “Monkey Woods Is Really Football Writer Stuart Mathieson.”

I believe our distinguished editor allowed it to be printed “as is” to rat fuck me. Either that, or he totally missed it.

My sincere apology.

Dr. B

Doc. Don't sweat the small stuff, brother. I say that as a man whose Christian name was once shouted out as, 'Olive'.in a chemist's shop (drugstore to you, mate) where I was waiting to get my prescription filled.

That walk of shame as I shuffled up to the counter past sniggering customers will live with me until my dying day.

"Denton' is very small beer when taken in comparison, I think you'll agree.

Kind Regards

Olive Danton (Miss)

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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Clive, I believe MW was referring to my misspelling of your name in my new story, “Monkey Woods Is Really Football Writer Stuart Mathieson.”

I believe our distinguished editor allowed it to be printed “as is” to rat fuck me. Either that, or he totally missed it.

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Yes, I completely missed it.

That's why I asked Clive. I do things like that.

But it wasn't to "rat fuck" you either. Sometimes, people deliberately spell names incorrectly. Would you like me to change it to 'Danton'?

Or 'Dinton' might sound nice...

Or even 'Olive Danton'.

Let me know.

It was my mistake. I would have never made it if he were still using Johnny Shlep. But you can change it to Danton just to be correct.

Thanks,

Dr. B

I also have a bone to pick. My last effort was left “as is” when I was expecting everything that wasn’t funny to be replaced by something that was funny. I suppose it was left “as is” to rat fuck me, whatever that is.

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Quote: Thelonius

I also have a bone to pick. My last effort was left “as is” when I was expecting everything that wasn’t funny to be replaced by something that was funny. I suppose it was left “as is” to rat fuck me, whatever that is.

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Ratfucking is an American slang term for political sabotage or dirty tricks. There are “rat fucks” and “giant rat fucks.”

I would put this one right in the middle.

Hope this explains.

Dr. B

An alternative definition from the Google site you copied and pasted ( you should have given credit ) is given here.

-The term ratfucking (rat in this case is shorthand for ration) is a slang term used by U.S. military personnel to mean the targeted pillaging of MREs (Meals, Ready-To-Eat), which the U.S. military calls field stripping. It refers to the process of opening a case of MREs, which are packed 12 in a box, opening up individual MRE packages, removing the desired items (generally M&M's and other sweets), and leaving the unenticing remainder. ( taken from Google )

In this definition I am a ratfucker at this place. I choose the best and leave the rest.

I am glad you write here Dr B, and hope you continue to do so. I just wish your competitive and negative nature, supported by Clive Dentin for whatever reason, would stop.

Yes, I ratfucked you a little, but only because you ratfucked someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Now, write away!