Discussion Forum

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Extract from Story:
A man who eats an astonishing amount of fish and chips for his tea, has revealed how, recently, he has experienced a strange, burning inner passion to live in the sea. Moys Kenwood, 55, eats a plate of fish and chips, on average, four times a week, and claims he has instinctively started to feel that he 'belongs' in a marine environment. He told me: "I can't explain it. It's a gut feeling.....

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.

A wonderful fishy tale. Starts off with the daily grind and the fish and chips, then moves out to the mystical and the fathomless. Evocative: who knows how many dead fish are out there? No one has ever counted them, which is a shame.

Reminds me of Moby Dick, apart from not having Captain Ahab in it. It would have been good to see what Captain Ahab thought about all these fish.

I know a fish is not a whale and a tale is not a tail, but again, who's counting? Let's enjoy life while we still have our own limbs. Not to mention those other limbs.

It's uncanny - I was just thinking the same thing.

Fish and chip related tomfoolery gets my vote every time.

Dolphins have ears, you know, and they can think thoughts in sonar, not words. You could translate this story into sonar and broadcast it into the oceans. I'm sure you'd find a whole new audience out there.

So, what you seem to be saying, if I've interpreted your words correctly, is that they are able to think in a different 'dimension'.

This is all very interesting, and some of the things JO referred to, are now starting to make sense...

A lot of what JO writes is very fishy, yes.

I know that dolphins are not fish, but they share the same watery medium as the many shoals of cod, herring, sea-trout (when in the sea), and so on.


My theory is that JO is not an actual fish, nor a sea-going mammal, but that he is a kind of embodiment of the outpourings of all this marine life. A kind of virtual King of the Fishes, or Marine Messiah. He is transmitting and transmuting all the non-verbal thoughts of the fish and dolphins into his writings.


Now all we need is an interpretetator (sic) and we might start to understand all this as some kind of message from the unfathomed deeps where the mysterious shoals move like watery ghosts.


At last they have found their voice. But is it worth hearing? Or is it just so much nonsense, as impermanent and elusive as the very waves and currents of the ocean?


Perhaps only a skate, or a conger eel, or a humble haddock, could tell us, if they had voices of their own.