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Forum Home / General Discussion / Dear Spoof
[This topic is LOCKED]
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Dear Spoof
I recently asked my doctor to give me something to make me last longer in bed and I have to say that the tablets he gave me have produced wonderful results. I used to sleep until around 11.00 pm but now regularly manage to kip until gone 2.00. Bob Kettleback Whitechapel-On-Sea |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Having yourself encased in cement Mafia style would definitely make you last longer in bed (if I am understanding you correctly).
In fact you would probably last there until you started to smell bad enough. |
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Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero Location: Galapagos Islands Registered: 22 Feb 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Having your significant other crazy glue your package to the bed frame insures that you last longer in bed. Also, scotch-taping your hands to the sheets is an excellent preventive in case you can’t determine if you touched yourself inappropriately while you were sleeping.
Respectfully, Dr. B |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Dear Spoof
Can I just say that it appears to me that Messrs Freed and B'gate are not affording this matter the seriousness that it so clearly warrants Bob Fuck Bromley By Bow |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
I just can't seem to please anybody these days.........
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JinoLeFeeto
Writer Location: I am right here. Registered: 15 Jul 16 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Cliven this is clearly a case of mistaken identity, your Doctor thought you were a mammal...
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Dear Jino
You could be right. I was mistaken for a door once by a cowboy. He then went on to shoot my knob off. CD |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Dear Spoof
I've never got on well with my family. As a child, my Uncle Dennis declared that his dying wish was to have me sitting on his knee. He was in the electric chair Larry Vulva London E1 |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
That must have been rather shocking....... |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
It certainly gave me a jolt, I don't mind admitting. At one point, I didn't know WATT hit me!
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
That one was so bad I could smell it from here......... |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Dear Spoof
We never hear anything about Donald Trump in the UK these days. Does anyone know if he's still a mentally-enfeebled weapons-grade fucknut? Concerned of East London PS. Right-wingers. Don't reply to this one by having a dig at Joe Biden or I will automatically assume you're a massive cockwomble like your former, twice-impeached POTUS. ![]() |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
--------------------------- Be thankful- we have to hear about him all the time....... |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Damn! I was hoping he'd died from an overdose of anti-covid bleach or something. Is he still hell-bent on killing Mike Pence or is their relationship now running like a 'finely-tooned machine'? I'm still staggered that the good people of Murica saw fit to put this ocean-going clown in the White House Unbelievable! |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
A lot of us were hoping he would croak too from the bleach too. Instead it just lightened his hair a bit.
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Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero Location: Galapagos Islands Registered: 22 Feb 10 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Stop dissing the Donald. I just mortgaged my house so that I might donate to his re-election. He promised me an ambassadorship in any country that would take me.
How can I refuse? |
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Sir Geoffroy Cockface
Writer Registered: 29 Aug 15 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Last thing I heard he tried to launch his own version of Twitter but nobody signed up.
It was like a version of The Apprentice but Donald Trump was the fucking moron who couldn't make anything happen. Then again, that applies to his entire career. |
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Danny Soz
The Rt Hon. ![]() Location: London Registered: 29 Nov 11 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
The man turned America into a laughing stock. He was an embarrassment and anyone who voted for this industrial-strength idiot must have serious mental issues. It's a proven fact that if he'd invested his old man's dough in a low-interest Post Office savings account he'd have made far more money than he did as a 'business man'. In fact, he didn't make ANY money at all! Fucking twat! |
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rfreed
Writer ![]() Location: Lost in Ohio of all places. Registered: 10 Oct 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
"Industrial strength idiot" !
I am going to have to steal that one and put a copyright on it! |
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JackLimer
Banned |
Most cryptocurrency scams permit their clients to utilize progressed highlights through which scammers can rapidly and proficiently enter and exit scams as well as store their resources in an insecure crypto wallet owned by scammers.
Lovely. |
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JinoLeFeeto
Writer Location: I am right here. Registered: 15 Jul 16 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Mark thank you so much for editing this drivel. |
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.
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