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Forum Home / General Discussion / 7:1 Women To Men


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Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

Registered: 15 Oct 07

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Posted: 12 Apr 20 13:45
So this is the latest banner with which I have to contend.

Clicking into the site (for research, etc), I am confronted by the same array of photographs as that in the "Groucho/Odessa" thing.

Hmmm. These are dark waters, Watson. Bring your service revolver.

JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

Location: I am right here.
Registered: 15 Jul 16

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 00:07
I say, does the 7 and 1 stand for their IQs? It does say conservative. Just sayin.

Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 00:19
Are you sure your figures are correct? 7:1 seems very optimistic. According to my computations, the inverse seems much more probable. More than likely, you are suffering from mathematical astigmatism.

Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 06:34
Is 7:1 the ratio of mature women to mature men or just mature women to regular men?
These are unanswered questions and the sooner they are addressed the better for all concerned.
Particularly for regular men in Odessa who must be feeling pretty swamped right now, I would suggest.

Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 14:26

Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Are you sure your figures are correct? 7:1 seems very optimistic. According to my computations, the inverse seems much more probable. More than likely, you are suffering from mathematical astigmatism.


Astigmatism? Well, there are no holes in my hands, if that's what you mean?

Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 14:28

Quote: Clive Danton

Is 7:1 the ratio of mature women to mature men or just mature women to regular men?
These are unanswered questions and the sooner they are addressed the better for all concerned.
Particularly for regular men in Odessa who must be feeling pretty swamped right now, I would suggest.


I would say it's probably something to do with false eyebrows, going by the photographs I saw.

Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
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Posted: 14 Apr 20 18:20
False eyebrows, fake news. Where does a man need to go these days for some authenticity?

I blame all these 5G covid-19 rays combining out of lamposts that I've heard so much about from Eamonn Holmes and Amanda Holden.

I mean to say, when heavyweights like those two put the scream out it's time for us all to shake off the lethargy and listen up!



JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

Location: I am right here.
Registered: 15 Jul 16

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Posted: 14 Apr 20 19:14
Well have to re-write a lot of songs if this 7 to1 thing holds true. 7 girls for every boy, the Beach Boys will all die now the poor geezers.

Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

Registered: 15 Oct 07

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Posted: 15 Apr 20 23:12
Dear Spoof,

These are dark days indeed, when even the humble lamppost is not immune to criticism by the chattering classes.

Let's start a campaign for the British Lamppost. After this COVID horror is over, let's throw the lamppost party to end all lamppost parties.

No more Chinese lampposts! Lamp British!

I can foresee T-Shirts and pork pie hats and special ornamental commmemmmorative mugs and what about a coin minted by the Mint!

Rule Britannnnnia!

Yours

Hereward The Wake
The Fens

PS I know Lady Godiva was my mother but don't hold that against me (that was what my father said when she came back from riding all over Coventry).



Dr. Billingsgate
Academic zero, literary hero


Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 26 Apr 20 22:22
Sign me up. I need someone to help me plagiarize. Always been a problem. Sister Cuthbert, my high school English teacher, noticed it early. She wrote on my report card:

“Billingsgate will never amount to a hill of beans unless he learns to cheat better.“

JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 27 Apr 20 11:55
ONly four popular grammar questions??!!!! This is an outrage!! This is....what the hell were you selling again/

Dr. Billingsgate
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Location: Galapagos Islands
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 27 Apr 20 18:26
According to MW, using commas incorrectly is the worst fault that keeps him up at night. He knows that I do it just to test him. That’s why he never features my stories.

JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 28 Apr 20 16:31
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Monkey Woods
Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

Location: Planet Earth
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Posted: 29 Apr 20 04:10

Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

According to MW, using commas incorrectly is the worst fault that keeps him up at night. He knows that I do it just to test him. That’s why he never features my stories.


This is not true. Your usage of commas is pretty good.

Indeed, it's the thing I like about you most.

JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 5 May 20 13:18
I believe the correct ending to your response MS should be, "period".


 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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