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Mark
This user is offline Spoofer-in-Chief
Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 10:23

Sheffield topiarist 'disgusted by drunk hedge sex'

A topiarist says he is having to make regular repairs to his hedge due to drunk people pretending to have sex with it.

"They're climbing on top of her and pulling her legs apart - you know, it's disgusting," he said.


Google wouldn't approve.

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carina-eta
This user is offline Ice Queen of the North
carina-eta

Location: back
Registered: 16 Feb 07

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 17:18
Good grief, she could be a right little earner for him! He needs to put a little donations tin on the wall.

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

Registered: 15 Oct 07

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 21:02
Takes tree-hugging to new depths.

How can they? The face is very sinister, like a green leafy monkey.

Sexuality is a queer business. A blind biological imperative which, when mixed with the chaos of the human psyche - and a cocktail of strong drugs - gives us the topiary sex-symbol.

Carina has hit upon something. One could create a topiary brothel and make a fortune in Sheffield. There's a story here if anyone can be bothered/find the time.


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carina-eta
This user is offline Ice Queen of the North
carina-eta

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 21:42
He could branch out.

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 22:19
Not sure who to "root" for here....

"Its not that I can't help these people it's just that...I don't want to" Tom Hanks - Volunteers
JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 22:20
Years from now, "Your Daddy was a sap!"

"Its not that I can't help these people it's just that...I don't want to" Tom Hanks - Volunteers
JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 26 Jul 18 22:24
"Sorry kid Im not really your father I wuz grafted."

"Its not that I can't help these people it's just that...I don't want to" Tom Hanks - Volunteers
JinoLeFeeto
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JinoLeFeeto

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Posted: 27 Jul 18 01:49
If they would add some poison ivy then small medical dispensary could be built to treat itchy privits...hedges too.

"Its not that I can't help these people it's just that...I don't want to" Tom Hanks - Volunteers
Mark
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Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

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Posted: 27 Jul 18 14:49

Quote: JinoLeFeeto

"Sorry kid Im not really your father I wuz grafted."


Brings a whole new meaning to the term "hard graft".

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