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You cheap bastard!!!

Why don't you just buy a new shower you ungrateful little shit!

8 years!!! you've had it, 8 long years, lets see that's roughly.... 27*567-8+3456/27.67521= 8 years.


Go ahead and get the Triton pixies down to fix it, go on, DO IT!!

See where that gets you, they'll not fix it, oh sure he'll get it going again for you and you'll gaze at him in wonderment and amazement as he takes your 50 or 100 quid and fucks off down the road like Superman in a van but mark my words he'll be back.



CALL OUT CHARGES AND MILEAGE.

The showers on a timer now JB, TICK, TICK, TICK....

You may as well set up a direct debit or work out a payment plan with him because you're his bitch now.


I'll give it 3 months at most.

I still have the taps, they really are nice, waterfall led blue and green.

Hello.




I replaced the shower. With another shower.
Only newer.
And shinier.
And more charming.
And kind.
And caring.

With a dickybow.

And a cherry on top.


That bit is a lie, but the dickybow bit is all true, true, true.


But I still can't wash!

"Why??????????", you may ask.

Well, I'll tells ya all!
The new one is a little bit smaller thatn the old one and he had to fill in the gaps with silicon!
Silicon!
As in Silicon valley.
As in Silicon Implants!

No. That's Silicone.
As in a Bra shaped like a cone.

So, there's me standing in the shower in my conical bra and still as unclean as a leper at a dump site.


Fergus, eat my bum.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

I still have the taps, they really are nice, waterfall led blue and green.

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what a cock up....suppose you all don't ever wash your car either?

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Hello.

I replaced the shower. With another shower.


That's great, I'm delighted you took my advice.



Fergus, eat my bum.

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No.

Lick my lolly you smelly git.






Silicone.... Tsk..Tsk..Tsk....

I wonder if JB really smells?

Can't see it meself.

Just seems wrong.

Regards

Skoob.

Skoob, you are absolutely right.
I only smell lovely and not a bad bit of smell off me whatsoever.

Fergus, do you have an idea why Morse is on this thread and what the hell he is going on about?

Neither do I.


You don't miss the water until the shower runs dry.
All true.
True, true, true.

The truth hurts but this is an exception.
This one is quite gentle and soft.
Like the water in my new shower.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Skoob, you are absolutely right.
I only smell lovely and not a bad bit of smell off me whatsoever.

Fergus, do you have an idea why Morse is on this thread and what the hell he is going on about?

Neither do I.


You don't miss the water until the shower runs dry.
All true.
True, true, true.

The truth hurts but this is an exception.
This one is quite gentle and soft.
Like the water in my new shower.

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I have a jacuzzi, it's bubbly, luvvely!

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Quote: Jesus Budda


Fergus, do you have an idea why Morse is on this thread and what the hell he is going on about?

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Not a sausage, but be nice to him, he's leaving me all his money and a signed photograph in his will.


Smile and nod JB.

Smile and nod.

And what exactly do I get out of this deal?

Nuthin'.

Yeah, that's right.
Nuthin'.



Unless you give me the picture.....


Here's some random letters and numbers for general usage:

nwetudgaefoghm82424695mdfhyqmq30mth9my3490m0k0kqofhi


Don't say I never give you nuthin;.

Dammit!!............. Ok, you can have half the money but the picture is mine.

Mine! All mine! And the power tools and and all the weapons he was telling us all about, guns'n'rifles'n'shotguns'n'rocket launchers'n'stuff.

Throw in some hand grenades and you've got yourslef a deal, mister!

Deal!


But I'm keeping the pins.

Nice!

Are you guys finally finished yet?

Can I come in?

I'm pretty sure I left my dandruff shampoo in here last week.

I'll just be a minute.

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion

Are you guys finally finished yet?

Can I come in?

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Not sure SFO.
I'll have to check with JB.

We don't really want to be catching the gayness, I'm married and if I tell the wife I caught the gayness off a bloke on a shower thread on the internet she'll go mad!

We have to factor in our loveliness as well, I'm gorgeous and it could mess you up for life you know, it's happened before, the QM, Carina, Gail Farrelly.... All smitten.


At your own risk, I take no responsibility.

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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Dammit!!............. Ok, you can have half the money but the picture is mine.

Mine! All mine! And the power tools and and all the weapons he was telling us all about, guns'n'rifles'n'shotguns'n'rocket launchers'n'stuff.

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...I'm starting to sort things out now for the estate distribution Ferg...
You get all the things we discussed privately, but not the car...
I'll set that aside for JB... poor wretch!

You haven't seen it lately...almost done...new leather seats, blacked out windows, 20" tyres & rims(not fucking Michelins either, bastards), state of the art entertainment system, double turbo charged 1.2L 2 cylinder converted Motorcycle engine from a CZ......let me put it this way...no one around here has ever seen a YUGO like it......even keep an illegal immigrant mechanic from the Balkans in the garage to care for it...when the weather is nice and the snakes stop moving he camps out in the back yard.....tunes up the wife while I'm out golfin too...thank God!

...and the walk in shower...well, if you can get it off the wall without breaking it I guess I can offer that to JB as well...along with the soap if there's any left on the rope.......

...oh yeah...the Spoof Trophies for a couple of contests...the fake brass ones with the naked image of Lowton with winged feet and a cross bow...Skoob wants those real bad...maybe you could drop them off...or not.....

There's quite a lot of shit actually...you'd better bring a big truck and a few of your mates to sort it.....oh yeah...better bring a lead box for the Plutonium
stuff.......

Categorically Yours....

This Old Morse

Everyone is welcome in my shower, SFO!

So long as you are female and can provide (verifiable by me) proof that you are so.


This Morse deal is working out great, Fergus.
Cars, showers,....soap!

Yowzah!
I'm in the money....la-la-di-dee-dee....

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Everyone is welcome in my shower, SFO!

So long as you are female and can provide (verifiable by me) proof that you are so.

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That sounds great!

But first, I will need verifiable proof that you are also female.

Expect to find something interesting in your in box very soon.....

Expect to find something interesting in your in box very soon.....

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Expect to find something interesting in your in box very soon.....

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I think he really, really likes pop up toys....(hint)

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Expect to find something interesting in your in box very soon.....

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Is it a biscuit? Maybe even one of those with that little bit of jelly on top?